The past couple of weeks my heart has been heavy about this trip. Sometimes I think I want to take the easy way out…get a regular job, get married, start a life and just be a member of a church. That would be simple and easy. If I could do those things I wouldn't be having a rough time support raising and I wouldn't be having a rough time making my bills but I was never called to take the easy way out. God would never give me more than I could handle and I know that. Why would I ever take the easy way out? Be a typical christian? That has never been my heart, that has never been my mindset, that has never been me. Why now that I have this amazing opportunity ahead of me I would want the "normacy" I have never craved? Because it's easy.
My life is not called to this "easy" lifestyle. Sacrificing a year of my life for the gain of the Lord seems so long in my small mindset but in the grand scheme of life why can't I give up a year? We are alive 60+ years and I can't give up 11 months. How selfish have I become? God gave up his life for me and when he asks me for 11 months in which I get to see his works, meet amazing people, be accompanied by a great team, and see the world I seem to think I can't do it. When looking up sacrifice in the dictionary it states "destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else" woah blows me away. I want to sacrifice, it means me giving up or put on hold my selfish desires to expand and impact the kingdom of God. I feel honored to be chosen to do such a thing.
I have been going through reading the bible in 90 days…its hard because it's 16 chapters a day, which I have to sacrifice time with others and time for myself to spend that much time in the word. It has showed me only on a small scale what sacrifice feels like and how it might feel on the race. We will have limited time for ourselves and to relax but with sacrifice comes such blessing. I am so blessed to even have a chance to read my bible hours a day and to have the opportunity to travel for Gods work. I rebuke my flesh and my selfish desires. God has chosen me, a broken, young and scared girl to do his work. This is amazing to me. God be glorified for being able to see in me what I could not see in myself. He knows me more than I know myself, he knows what I can handle, he knows my strengths and weaknesses. Why would I ever think I knew what was best for me more than he did?
I can't wait to go on the world race.
I can't wait to on a minor scale feel what sacrifice feels like.
I can't wait to love people as God has loved me.
I can't wait to trust him because I can't do it on my own.
I can't wait to be uncomfortable and have to rely on him with everything.
God thank you for changing my heart.
World Race July 2013 here I come!
