I had heard stories and whispers of what training camp entailed, but it was kept pretty under wraps. So, I had no idea what to expect.
All I can say is that this week broke me. It was tough, challenging, and exhausting. I’m not going to reveal all the secrets in case a future racer reads this blog (sorry, but the unknown is part of the process!).
The biggest question of the week was, “can I actually do this?” It plagued me the first full day (which was the longest day of my life). I had some real scary moments of wanting to check out. This couldn’t be what God had in store for me. If I can’t even get through one day, how would I ever get through 11 months? But God showed up that Sunday night in an amazing way. Through one of our lovely parent coaches, Lisa, he spoke some very encouraging and lovely words. He lifted me up and said, “Candace, you’re my daughter. I love you. Come into my embrace and let me comfort you.”
After I balled my eyes out and accepted that word, everything was just a breeze.
Ha! Yeah, right.
But I approached the rest of the week with a different perspective. I realized that this was going to be tough, but God was going to equip me with the things I needed, and would step in when I was weak and become the strength I needed.
First, I’m an introvert who needs alone time in order to re-energize. And you don’t get a lot of moments alone, let me tell you. One of the things I heard pretty often was “Introverts, this is gonna be a tough year for you!” Yeah… so God’s really gonna have to help me find time to myself next year.
He definitely did for training camp. Whenever my whole squad (around 55 people) were together waiting for the next thing to do, I’d sit back and just watch people. I didn’t talk to anyone. It was in those minutes that I got energized. I did that several times a day. It helped so much. I’d probably have gone insane otherwise.
Second, I allowed myself to be vulnerable amongst my squad. I’ve always had a difficult time meeting new people. But I started slow and talked to one or two people at a time. Stuck with them for a bit and then found new people to talk to. Soon I became friends with so many people. There’s something about a common experience that brings people close very fast. We became family in only a few days.
There was a particular moment of vulnerability that sticks with me. I had been offered a role as treasurer for my team. I’m not good with numbers and math, so I had to decline. But I couldn’t shake off this feeling of being a complete failure. I tried to ignore it, but it stayed with me until I opened up to a few girls. I don’t normally do this with people I hardly know. But when I did, God showed himself. Their words of love, wisdom, and encouragement completely took away my shame. I knew in that moment that this community thing wasn’t so bad after all.
Third, God SHOWED UP. His presence was so palpable. We worshipped mornings and nights. Worship is by far my favorite part of any church service. Singing and praising God is the quickest way for me to become immersed in God’s presence. The Holy Spirit came and healed broken hearts, mine included. God spoke words of encouragement again one night in the middle of the week. The one thing he said that stuck out to me the most was, “You have a voice.” This goes back to me being that shy introvert who doesn’t think her voice needs to be heard all the time. God told me that I have a voice. However that will be used, I’m excited to see it revealed on the race.
Fourth, God put together an amazing team of 7 girls that I’ll be traveling and living with for the next year. There was so much peace during the whole formation process that we called our team Eirene, which means “peace” in Greek. I’m so excited to share my life with these girls!
All in all, training camp prepared me for the next chapter of my life in ways that I did not expect and for that I’m so grateful.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! I’m blown away by all the support and love I’ve received from everyone. I’m only $2,000 away from my next deadline of $7,500 in December. If you feel led, please click the “Support Me” link in the menu on the left. Anything helps! Also, if you could share this blog with friends or family to get the word out, I’d be so grateful!
