Is this real life, or could I maybe be dreaming? I know this must be real life because if it were a dream I would be fully funded, and not worrying about a thing. I would have had enough money to personally get all the things I needed instead of cutting things out that I may need because I couldn’t afford it. I would speak Spanish and be able to talk to the locals. I wouldn’t have left my proof of yellow fever at the house. I would have remembered everything that I needed. Saying “goodbyes” or better yet “see you in a year” wouldn’t be so painful. It’s only a year, but it feels like it will last a lifetime. My dad said to me “remember it will go by in the blink of an eye, the first few days may drag on but it’s going to go by faster than you think.” I really hope that I can cherish every minute of this, and take nothing for granted. That I come back in the blink of an eye forever changed.
The process of change is happening quicker than I would have thought. My heart is very heavy as I write this blog. I have never have been one to get home sick, and I thought it would be easy to not have contact with the outside world. Little did I know I would have a little bitty breakdown on day two, due to the face that I can’t talk to my mom when I want to, or anyone else for that matter.
We won’t have internet this month, so we will have to find internet cafes and get on a few times this month. That will be a challenge. It’s so strange to not be able to pick up a phone and call up whomever just because. I can’t just go to the grocery store alone because it isn’t safe. I can’t go throw my laundry in the washer and wash it and then put it drying… we have buckets to wash our clothes in and lines to hang them on… Oh and it rains literally every day so let’s pray that our clothes stay dry. Ha-ha
But in the mist off all that could go wrong, so much went right!!! We made it to our ministry site in one piece… and let’s just say that is a miracle since the driver of our bus drives like my mother.. 😉 love ya mom. Not to mention the wreck that held us up for two hours that may or may not have resulted in 5 deaths. We were going to be sleeping in tents all month, but when we got here it had been raining so bad that they cleaned out there rooms and gave us these cute little dorm style rooms to share. And we get to stay together as a squad all month long. J
In all that was going on I fell apart and realized this is far from a dream. God is so big, and so loving, and I have been fighting who I am in Him for who knows how long. Now I am finally answering my calling to follow after what he has for me. It’s so humbling and so overwhelming that I can’t even begin to put into words what is happening inside me. It’s awesome to say the least!! I was so scared of what this trip was going to do to me, and who I was going to become because of it, but I have received such a revelation of how BIG Gods love is for me, that I can’t help but WANT this change that I was so dreading.
So needless to say this is going to be one heck of a year! It’s going to be hard, and rewarding at the same time. It’s going to teach me so much about myself and the world around me! It is going to frustrate me to no ends on some days and then others I will be so full of joy my team won’t be able to stand me 😉
