People keep asking me the most simple questions and I can't seem to come up with an answer. It makes no sense to me. I mean ,really, I don't even have a favorite color… are you kidding me?! I have no clue who I am and it's starting to terrify me. It's beginning to consume my thoughts to the point where I don't know what to do. I don't know who to turn to because in reality, there isn't really anyone who would understand what I'm going through. I'm not even sure how to put into words how I'm feeling when people ask me.
What keeps me going? I know that He knows how lost I am. You see, the world race isn't about seeing the world or going on a wonderful vacation for a year. This is a trip for me to find my identity in Him & to seek after what is already inside me that is just waiting to be discovered. It's to retrain my brain on what has been programmed in my brain by the standards of the world. It's about renewing my mind in the pursuit of the Lord.
What I have come to realize in the last month or so is that this is something that He has planned out for me. He is pursuing me.. it's not a one way street! He wants the same relationship with me that I long to have with Him. The world race is going to do just that for both of us.
I will be taken away from the junk overtaking my mind, brought to His cross, & taught to renew my mind. I will confront things head on, grieve things that are lost, tune into myself, and learn who I really am in Christ.I know that He will meet me in the nations to do the work already planned out for me. I know that I will touch lives and change them along the way too, but that is not the main reason I'm going on the world race.
The one question I CAN answer that people keep asking me is, "Why the world race?"
I am choosing the world race because I want to know who I am. I want to step out into the unknown and find the parts of my heart that remain untouched. I want to do this through the eyes of the homeless, the touch of the sick, the laugh of the orphans, and the hearts of the broken. I desperately want to know who GOD says I am.
much love,
Candace
