So this is my first ever blog! So bare with me. My spelling and grammar aren't the best. I want to take this opportunity to tell you about the last few years of my life. This blog will give you an idea of what I have been though, what I have overcome, and the plans I feel that God has for my life! 🙂 It may be a little lengthy.
So first I'll start with moving out of my parent's house at the age of 18. I started attending stage one cosmetology school and at first was really enjoying the life of freedom that I was living. I was wild and crazy. Thinking about it now, I went out every weekend and started to skip school just because. Then once my best friend from hair school moved back to her home town I just continued to party with whoever. I then met someone who would change and impact my life in more ways then one. I entered into a terrible depressing same sex relationship for a year. In this year, I watched everything slip from my fingertips. My schooling, friends, family, and most of all of my possessions were lost during this depressing time. I started smoking pot on a regular basis and went from parting every weekend to staying high 24/7. Life seemed to be pretty terrible and I couldn't figure out a way to get a hold of my life. In the next year, I lost faith in just about anything. I'm basically just living my life as I want and no one can tell me otherwise.
Then in February 2011, I enter into a new same sex relationship with one of the most amazing people I've ever known. I fell madly in love with my best friend. She then begins to show me God again and the love He shows. I know it seems crazy to think that in the relationship she brought me back to my faith but somehow God used her. I don't think I could think of a better person. Her family also was way more accepting than mine. It just showed me the way god loves us no matter what. In the first year of our relationship it was amazing. I was baptized and she was there. In fact when we got back to my house she pulled out a very beautiful bible with my name engraved in it.
I then began going to church every Sunday. I fell in love with church and worship and everything that came along with it. God started working on my heart. At first it was the most amazing thing in the world, until he asked me to walk away from the person that I loved with all of my heart. I knew that if I continued to live the life I was living, that I would never truly be able to have the relationship with God that He and I longed for. So after months of trying my best to hold on to the person that showed me love and helped mold me into who I had become, I knew it was time to listen to God and give it up. I knew that my relationship with Him would blossom.
So in all this time I am thinking that I am living the life I want to live and what could be more free.. boy was I WRONG! I see now that's how Satan works. Satan makes you think that it's freedom and that you are doing what you want. I was never free until the day on April27th at the woman's conference for my church when I confessed Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. However He was my savior, I didn't actually allow Him to be the Lord of my life until the beginning of August. At this point, I realized I had walked away from the only person I had ever truly connected with and loved to pursue my relationship with Christ. I began looking into Christian schools. I definitely have a ministry calling upon my life and I wanted to figure it out.
One morning at prayer, a member of the church asked me if I was going to do bible college that our church offers. My response was I would love to, I feel that I need to, but I cant afford it. He looked at me and said ok well finance isn't an issue for me so I need you to enroll and I will sponsor you. AMAZING!!! WHAT?!?!?! Really ok wow thanks! I then enrolled and started college. First time in life I ever had a desire for school. It was funny and all that know me..They know I hate school and did just the minimum to get by. :p I did fall in love with one of my classes. The basics of the class was about living a radical life for Christ. The course opened my eyes so much to the American dream, and how that is so far from what God has called us to do. So I am currently in bible college and working as a waitress. I know this isn't what I want to do with the rest of my life. I felt like I was stuck in this rut of waiting tales trying to get ahead and it's so difficult when your trying to get ahead in terms of the "American dream" not in terms of God and his wonderful kingdom. So one night while thinking, something had to give I looked up some long term mission trips and there it was in all its orange glory.. lol the World race. I have grown so much in the past year of surrendering my life to Christ. I am so excited to start this journey. Also I am looking forward to sharing this with all who are following me and my process. God is moving in my life at a crazy speed. I Have learned to love Him, trust Him, and put every once of faith in the amazing God who has breathed life into me! 🙂
I'm so thankful I have a wonderful and smart roommate that God has placed in my life just to proof read this and make me sound smart! Don't get used to it the rest wont be this well written! Thanks Mer Bear 🙂
