I really have no idea what words are about to come out of my brain and scatter themselves on this page. Mainly, because I am on a sugar high and I went on a shopping spree today and both of those things make me happy. Not the same happy I feel when I overcome something or the feeling I will have when I will get to hug my family again. But a more superficial kind of happy.
Ahh, things that make me happy.
As I type I can see the new ring that is decorating my finger in a beautiful way and that also makes me happy.
And I think I'm slightly reluctant to tell you that I might just have a new-found shopping addiction. I justify it. Everything is so inexpensive and beautiful and It makes the world pretty…
But I'm about to leave this cool hippy pad of a restaurant with americans, wifi, hummus and trippy paintings and step back onto the streets of Nepal.
And on those streets I see something totally different and yet very similar. I see teenage boys and girls sniffing glue to get high. Because maybe it makes them happy. They don't like the world how it is and neither do I so we find things that make us think it's different. Glue. Shopping. I suppose it's all a form of lust.
Instead of praying I shop.
and they sniff.
and some drink.
and some lie.
and some become politically obsessed.
and others do other things.
and we call ourselves happy.
But I was reading in proverbs the other day and I found a verse that said, "Happy is the person who wants only what they have."
So maybe I'm not really happy afterall…
In fact it feels a lot like sorrow.
because my joy is dependant upon my conditions
Instead of on the fact that I'm loved and accepted by the Lord.
So maybe people are not that happy at all…
And that makes me sad.
Because there is something to be very happy about
but the ones who should be happy about it are too busy being distracted by something that is not happy at all.
