Walking around barefoot is a no no here in my Moldovan home (which is actually a church). It’s weird that I am reminded of my real home by that simple fact. At my house, my mom would always tell me to put my socks on. Here I’m encouraged to do the same thing.
But that’s not the only thing that brings me back to the way things were in the states. This is the first month of the Race that I am actually living in a city. Okay, well it’s hardly a city, but It’s not a wide open space like I have experienced the last few months. For the first time I don’t have a place outside to go and escape. If you didn’t know, I’m the type of girl that feels connected with God so easily when I’m out in nature. All alone. Just me and Him. It’s perfect.
However, this month, I don’t have a mountain or a beach to just sit on and worship God in the beauty of His creation. It feels more like back at home when I would have to run to my local coffee shop to escape. You know, to free my head and refocus. To hear His voice.
But there is no hipster coffee shop here either.
No mountain
No beach
No hipster coffee shop
What's a girl to do?
Still, I find myself suffocated with things that remind me of home. WiFi, potatoes, a bed (I think I got a visit from the tempur-Pedic fairy), a warm shower, hot chocolate, a washing machine, electricity. It’s all so normal (in my western view of the word). However, It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve experience this far.
It’s no longer
the bugs
the squaty potty
the construction
the yard tools I used all last month
the cold water showers
the strange food
the (what felt like) endless hikes
the kids that would blow their nose in my t-shirt
the hand washing my clothes
the wearing dirty clothes over and over
No those things actually turned out to be the best things. You know, the things that made me laugh, after the initial difficulty of course. It was in those moments where my strength was gone. And that was the best way that God could use me, teach me, and mold me. I felt as though I would break if I had to do it one more time, but I was always depending on the Lord to get me though. Because we all know I couldn’t do it without Him.
That is exactly where He wanted me.
Depending fully on Him.
I’m now realizing the real difficulty has been in the amount of comfort I have had in the last 4 weeks – here in Moldova and at the house we lived at in Romania. It’s so much more of a battle to learn to walk with God when you have it good. It’s so hard to depend on God when you feel like you can do it on your own. I mean, I don’t need God the way I did two months ago, but now I want Him more than ever before.
Maybe I’m in a good place.
I don’t know.
Props to all you guys in America that are seeking hard after Jesus.
I think you do it far better than me.
I’m just a traveling “missionary” that needs the right setting to seek the Lord.
I think I may have an issue.
