Today, we had to pack up all our stuff and say our first round of goodbyes.
And it was not fun.
Tomorrow, we start our journey to Haiti.
I don’t know what to expect.
Well
okay
not true…
My team will be with all the other teams and we will be on the beach. So it’s going to be a crazy and exciting month. I’m looking forward to it. But then again, what I expect never happens.. so who knows.
This month I came to the Dominican thinking… we will do ministry. We will love on some kids. We will learn some things.
Wrong.
Yes, we did all those things, but I sure can underestimate the power of God.
The beauty of his being.
The longing that He has for His children.
You
Me
The sweet Dominican family
The creepy Dominican man that whistles at us
He really does love us
and the one thing I have learned in the last two weeks is how hesitant I am to step into the fullness of that love.
I don’t forgive as I have been forgiven.
I don’t give as I have received.
I don’t love as I have been loved.
I don’t look at peoples hearts before I see them.
I don’t listen before I speak.
I don’t know how to do this thing.
Trust me, If there is one thing I know it’s that I can NOT do this. I fail everyday.
Over
and
over
and
over
And I don’t mean The World Race. This oddly starts to feel normal after a little while – what is hard is living like Christ.
I’m struggling
because I try
and try
and then I have to fall on my face and beg for grace
Because I depend on people to fill my cup
I depend on myself for strength
I try to get through on semi good sleep and rice
and guess what
It doesn’t work.
I must depend on Him
Only Him
and
It’s so hard.
I can see it will be worth it
to live in the the fullness of His love
But
everyday is a battle
fighting against my flesh
against my strength
It’s a battle to give up myself
my pride
and to live in true
Humility
to look like christ
That is the goal.
Why is it so stinking hard?
