I landed back in Texas on June 7, 2017 from an amazing 5 full months of Squad Leading. I was welcomed by my mom, dad and, to my surprise, my sister and beautiful niece and nephew. I couldn’t have asked for a better reunion at home.
The following month after my return was spent resting and spending amazing quality time with my family and friends. Quality time being my number one way of receiving love I was full of just that! My Dad and I went on a 2 night 3 day motorcycle trip, I went on a road trip to Virginia with one of my squadmates to another squadmates wedding, I’ve spent countless hours with my amazing grandparents, and my family had a fun weekend on the lake at my aunt and uncle’s house. I can go on and on but the point is that my heart was full of love and joy.
As I began the re-entry process, I was asked one simple question many different ways. “What’s next?”. This can be so hard for Racers to answer sometimes. At first I thought I had a plan together. That included getting a job and getting ready to go back to school in January. That very quickly fell through when I couldn’t get a job where I was wanting to. As day after day went by I was still asked the same question, “So what are you going to do now?”. After I gave my entire life to Jesus, I surrendered my anxiety as well, but because of the sinful world we live in that anxiety has been back stronger than ever. I’ve begun to think about the future, what kind of career I was going to do, when I was going to get married, and how I was going to get there. Some would say that these are things I’m supposed to be thinking about, and that I probably should have already had the answers to those questions. Basically, I’ve felt this constant pressure to have my life figured out and the truth is that I don’t.
Since doing the Race and Squad Leading the Lord has completely changed me inside and out. I’ve learned more and more about who I am in the eyes of the Lord and how He has uniquely created me. I’ve stepped into gifts that I didn’t know I had, the Lord has elevated the gifts that I did know I had, I’ve learned how much my heart loves people, and the list just goes on and on. The life I lived on the Race was a whole reality of its own. A reality that is REAL, not just some fun adventure that I did once.
Now I’m back in the reality of America and it’s very different from the reality of the Race. I’ve learned that there’s so much more to life than the “American Dream”, than having power and money, and ultimately, making money to pay bills. However, that is our reality here in America. We have to have jobs to make money to survive. I’m not bashing America. It’s just completely different than what I came from on the Race.
With all that said, I’m trying to figure out how to make these two worlds combine. I don’t want to just completely throw everything away that I learned from the Race to be “successful” here in America. I don’t just want to settle for any career, any wife, or any life so I can SURVIVE here. Instead, I want to find that balance where I can fully walk out what the Lord has created me to do so I can THRIVE in a career that I absolutely was created for and love, a marriage that is fully intended in Gods will, and a life that is continuously overflowing with the Love of Christ because I am completely dedicated to Him.
So, to answer that question of, “What are you doing next?”. I have no idea. All I know is that I don’t want to settle and I want to do whatever I’m going to do with the Lord.
Now I don’t want you to think that I’m upset at anyone who has asked me that question. I’m not. I know that everyone who has asked me that question cares about me and was genuinely curious and not trying to pressure me into figuring something out. Also, please don’t be cautious to talk to me I WANT to talk to you!
To switch gears a little. I just recently went to Cambodia to see my squad for their month 8 debrief. It was an amazing time with them. I got to catch up on their past few months and ask all kinds of good questions. I got to challenge, encourage and love on each person there. I get the opportunity to go and see my squad in Malaysia for their FINAL debrief in November. However, I still need your help to get there. I’m still in the process of fundraising for that. I have only $1,225 to raise by October 1st.
Y’all have been so amazing at helping me with fundraising and I cannot thank you enough for making this possible for me. All I’m asking is that you prayerfully consider donating to help me finish this whole thing.
Thank you so much for reading this. I’m so thankful to have you apart of this journey with me.
