Meet Anna. She is a 9-month-old baby whose mother was on drugs while she was pregnant with Anna and is now not able to take care of this sweet girl. Many babies in this area have similar stories to Anna’s and some that are even worse. These sweet innocent angels have been abandoned by their families and don’t know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally unless they are adopted.
After play-time and dinner together with Anna it was time for sleep. As I rocked this sweet baby to sleep I felt her push away from being in my arms. I realize it’s because she didn’t know that all I wanted to do was love her, give her peace and rock her to sleep. After some resistance this sweet angel lay fast asleep with a peace in her whole body. As she relinquished control I was able to love her fully, pray over her inviting Jesus into her life, and for her to know complete unconditional love found only in Jesus Christ.
Much like Anna a lot of us struggle with letting go of control and allowing God to work and love perfectly in our lives. The hardest thing is, is sometimes we don’t even know we are struggling with letting go and letting God. I recently realized how much control I still wanted to have in my life to try to look perfect. I was allowing leadership to become an idol in my life. Because at the beginning of the race God worked me through what it meant to be a leader through Him I though I had been through everything I needed to about leadership. Until, I then went the opposite extreme and allowed leadership to become an idol. I wanted to be a perfect leader to seem like I always had everything under control for myself and for my team. But slowly as God continues to rock me to sleep and peace I am letting go of control and letting Him show me what it looks like to live perfectly in his presence. It means seeking His words. It means living perfectly in His presence. It means loving through His love. It means not being perfect because I will never be perfect. I am a messy sinner who will never be perfect and needs Jesus Christ every second, every minute, every hour. God softly reminded me as I began to rest in his arms that people see Him in me and that the person I am is not because of me but its only because of who He is and what He did for me. For that I cannot take credit and who I am I cannot take credit, I can only sit humbled at his feet in awe and thanksgiving for who He is.
As I begin to let go of control God is showing me how BIG he his and how much he can show up in my life if I let Him. During English camp last week Amie had a vision of having a healing prayer session for the kids. As kids began to come up for prayer I laid my hand on a little girls leg to pray for healing. I began praying not only for her leg but also for her salvation that she might know the name of Jesus and know his infinite love for her as I was praying a rush of emotions overflowed from my body and I began to speak in a language that I had never spoken before in my life. My mind began to question what am I saying but my spirit just kept speaking. As I tried to gain control back of my words I knew that this was a gift from God that when I begin to let go of control and rest in his arms like Anna I can do even bigger things through him in the spirit.
Praise God for having control. Praise Him for knowing all things. Praise Him for gifts. Praise Him for being faithful even in our midst of struggles. Praise Him for wanting nothing but to love us and allow us to rest in Him.
What do you need to let go of? I encourage you to rest in God’s arms, let him love you perfectly, and find peace in Him.
With all my love- Cam
