I thought I should start off by telling stories of some of the girls we’ve been privileged to meet on bar street, but some of those stories have already been told, like in Kristen’s blog.
I could share stories of our encounters with the Western men who frequent bar street, but that too has been done, like in Katie and Jason’s blogs here and here.
Or I could reveal what I’ve recently learned about a different side of the sex industry in Chiang Mai: the seedy boy bars. But that too has been covered by Katie here.
THAILAND
In marriage, traditional roles and responsibilities are more important than passion and intimacy, and there is little to no romance in relationships. Marriage is fundamentally to support family and to raise children which will then support the couple. Most Thai men spend their days at work and their nights at the bar, where women are not allowed to join, and while monogamy is expected of Thai women, minor wives and commercial sex are common sexual outlets for men. Eighty percent of Thai men visit a prostitute on a regular basis. Thai girls are taught that a good woman remains a virgin until marriage, and that they should tolerate Thai men’s promiscuity and accommodate themselves to it.
Additionally, the female children of the family are expected to support the family financially while the male children receive an education. Sometimes in marriage, Thai men will send their wives to work in the bars as prostitutes to bring in more money, often to fund drinking habits.
AMERICA/EUROPE/ETC (the West)
While Western culture encourages sex in both genders, the double standard still exists that a woman who is promiscuous is considered a tramp, but a man who is promiscuous is considered a true man. Sex is believed to equal masculinity. Men also equate sex with happiness and live chasing after their own desires and misconceptions of what a successful and satisfying life is.
Western men travel to the bars in Thailand because Thai women are “easy” – easy in that they can cheaply pay for sex, but also easy in that Thai girls will act adoring and attentive to them without much investment on their part. Additionally, Thai women as whole are more submissive than Western women, providing men with a false sense of power.
Every woman I have met thus far on bar street claims to have a boyfriend in a Western country. He takes care of her when he visits Thailand (often several times a year) and sometimes pays for her to visit his home country. None of these men are interested in marriage to their Thai prostitute, and yet Thai women continue to seek after a Western man who will romance her and provide for her or “save” her from the bars. To these women, financial security equals love.
I have to remind myself that I can’t walk down bar street with disgust for the men or pity for the girls without considering the different cultures which perpetuate these injustices. And this begins to overwhelm me: knowing that while I may have influence in the life of one person, my month in Thailand is not realistically going to turn a culture, any culture, completely upside down and to right the wrongs that have ensued.
But God can.
You’re the God of this City
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You are
You’re the Light in this darkness
You’re the Hope to the hopeless
You’re the Peace to the restless
You are
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here
(“God of this City” by Bluetree)
