This is just a step in my journey…
I grew up in a Christian home. We celebrated Christmas and Easter. We even went to church fairly often. We were good people. But for most of my childhood, church meant little to my influential mind. Sitting in the sanctuary each Sunday meant I was missing out on sleep and weekend fun in the neighborhood. Sure, I learned that I shouldn’t party and I should do my best to be a good kid, but somewhere deeper I knew there was more to church than mere belief and good morals.
At 13, I went away to summer camp, and for the first time heard that the God I had learnt about in Sunday school, the God who created everything I see and feel and hear, cared intimately about ME. Jesus came to earth and died on a cross, not out of obligation because his dad told him he had to. No, it was a choice. It was a choice for love. A love that was deeper than the love of a friend, a parent, or even a lover. Every message I heard that summer at camp were like the very words of this big God, speaking directly to my heart.
But it didn’t stick. After one week in dirty cabins in the mountains, I returned to my suburban neighborhood, with the same influential friends and the same mindset. I could not comprehend how to bring Jesus along with me. God-stuff was for summer camp, but the rest of my year required a focus on other things, mostly myself.
At age 16, I finally “got it.” I knew God wanted more of me than one week in this Christian bubble and a few Sundays sitting in a pew. And I wanted more of God, I just didn’t know how to find Him. (Jeremiah 29:13). That summer at camp, God spoke. I remember where I was, what I was thinking, everything. It was not the audible voice of God. I was just walking toward the pool at camp, people were walking all around, and in my heart, I heard God say, “I desire YOU, Cameron.” That moment changed my life. On the outside, everything was different. I started going to church because I wanted to, not because I felt obligated. I went to youth group, I went on mission trips, I even raised my hands during worship.
My behavior, my friends, and thus even my mindset had changed. I was still Cameron, just with focus and purpose. But was I different?
(continued in reprise)
Whether bright or melancholy
Rough and ready, finely spun
Whether with a thousand players
Or a lonely cast of one
