From my journal, our last night in Thailand: I ask question with no answers, striving to see more clearly the image of my Creator. An insatiable appetite for Truth, which perpetually provokes further questions. All in attempt to become whole. To find healing to the scars and light to the darkness in this grasping for glimpses of the Divine. To paraphrase John Calvin: we are damaged and are unable to see God’s glory right in front of us. We are poetic damage – fragmented, limited, seeing just sparks of the true image of God. Why then do we strive in such a manner? Each step is a step of trembling, of insecurity, each step lessening my reliance on my able body and my clever intellect. And yet, the Lord in His great love and mercy has brought me here. A place where mediocrity fails and brutal honesty is required. A place where the pathway beneath my feet crumbles at each step and there is nothing to grab hold of but the cross of Jesus Christ. a song that speaks into these thoughts an emotions: I am outside and I’ve been waiting for the sun Lock the doors cause I’d like to capture this voice Keep me safe inside Your arms like towers Tower over me Cause we are broken
The past year of my life has been a broken one. My walk with the Lord has been minimal. My ability to be or do anything of value has seemed, to me, worthless. I fight against the darkness. I give in to the darkness. I understand the mystery of the shadows, finding comfort in the hurt, the scars, the uncertainty. I have come to the end of what I once knew to be true about myself, about the world, about the Lord, and I have come to see that this walking by faith, is more like stumbling.
PARAMORE: We are Broken
With my wide eyes I’ve seen worlds that don’t belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this
Keep me safe inside Your arms like towers
Tower over me
Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And all the promise we adore?
Give us life again
Cause we just want to be whole
It came to me tonight so everyone will have a choice
And under red lights I’ll show myself it wasn’t forged
We’re at war we live like this
Tower over me
Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And all the promise we adore?
Give us life again
Cause we just want to be whole
Tower over me
And I’ll take the Truth at any cost
What must we do to restore
Our innocence?
And all the promise we adore?
Give us life again
Cause we just want to be whole
