Words carry weight, and, as I learned at training camp with the word h-o-t, saying a word speaks it into existence.
I remember before I came to training camp saying “I just want God to completely move in me and transform me”-let’s just say I really didn’t know what I was asking for.
God broke down some huge barriers and revealed to me who I am in Him over the course of these ten days, and take it from someone who has seen the difference: when your identity is no longer in what the world has spoken over you, but rather what the Creator of the universe has spoken over you, you approach life in a drastically different way.
One night at training camp, I felt God speaking to me during worship, so I sat down in my chair and wrote:
Remember who He is and who I am
He is the creator of the universe; I am the creator of messes
He is a sinless savior; I am a slave to sin
He is all powerful; I am weak in comparison
He is the bearer of lavish gifts; I am the bearer of guilt, shame, and sin
He is the peace maker; I am the peace disrupter
He is perfect; I am human
He is selfless enough to become a curse for us; I am so selfish I won’t give up earthly possessions
He is the all knowing creator; I am the unknowing creation
He is the father; I am the child
The holiness of God is unattainable by me, or any human, for that matter. The Bible says in Isaiah 64:6 that even our “righteous acts are like filthy rags.” But this is where grace comes in. This is where God steps in and says, “My child, yes, apart from me, you are a mess, a slave, weak, and human-you are a sinner, but I have made a way for you.” Praise Him for that! Praise Him that all of these “I am” statements are erased when I embrace and follow the “He is” and, therefore, I become more like He and less like I. Did you get that?
I’M NOT A SLAVE.
I’M NOT FULL OF GUILT AND SHAME.
I’M NOT WEAK.
I’M NOT MESSY.
I’M NOT UNHOLY, UNRIGHTEOUS, OR UNWORTHY.
Because I am His.
I am a daughter.
I am beautiful beyond measure.
I am special.
I am gifted.
I am more precious than rubies.
I am loved.
I am holy.
I am an heir.
I am worthy of the cross.
I am a tree planted by living water.
I am called.
I am a leader.
I am a servant.
I am a life giver.
Why? Because the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE SAYS I AM!!!
This identity found in Him allows me to live freely; it allows me to live from, not for, the approval of God. Through the cross, we are shown that we are worth dying for-we are valuable because Christ Jesus hung on a cross for us. We were not worthy, but God has said we are worthy, so He made us worthy.
It’s not about how good you’ve been.
It’s not about how bad you’ve been.
It’s about who Christ is.
What an example of His love for us, that He would take our brokenness, our sin, our shame, our trespasses to the cross and bury them in the tomb, that they might not own us anymore. Jesus’ love allows us to be in intimacy with the creator of the universe because through Him, the gap is bridged. Through Him, mercy and grace abound. Through Him, the great Physician, we are made whole. He burns away the rancid, infectious skin that is our sins and replaces it with Himself, holy, pure, and righteous, that we might come before Him and be in relationship with Him.
Let this be our prayer:
Lord, thank you for your great grace, love, and mercy that are new with each day and are more faithful than the rising sun. Thank you for your ultimate sacrifice. Thank you for letting a sinner like me have intimacy with the creator of the universe. That makes me feel pretty special-I know I am because you have told me that with you, I am holy. I am loved. I am special. I am beautiful. I am talented. I am a leader, a servant, and a life giver. For this, I am thankful-thankful that you make me new. Thank you for moving in my life. I pray that today and everyday forward you would work in powerful and mysterious ways. That as I fish, you would catch. That as I sow, you would make the wheat grow. I pray that as you move mysteriously through me, you would move in me and take me on a great adventure. That I would have a willing heart saying “here I am, send me.” That I will go where you lead me without hesitation. Create a passion in me that I might be so on fire for you people see the light and feel the heat. True passion is seen. Heard. Felt. Shown. Help me to have that kind of passion, approaching each day with renewed zeal and gratitude. Amen.
Updates!!!
Lots of HUGE things happened at training camp:
- I met my squad… F squad, best squad am I right?? (attached are a few pics with them)
- I got my team… Edifly!!! Check out their blogs. They rock!!
- We got our first ministry assignment! The first two weeks of the race, we will be in Lezhë, Albania working at a summer camp for children!
I love you guys! Thanks again for all the prayers and support-it means the world to me!!
Until next time,
Cal 🙂
