This second vlog was surprising difficult to make. Patience is not the strongest virtue of mine. I know what good work looks like. I can tell when something is quality work. And I know I still have a long way to go. I admittedly dislike the patience part of this, the waiting to be good.
I have a vision for what vlogging on the race looks like for me, and I have yet to accomplish the form or function of what I want my vlogs to become.
To accomplish this goal I had to overcome a wall of doubt.
After watching, and probably over analyzing my first video, I was not impressed with my work. In fact, I was mortified.
It is like when you are writing an essay, or something, and in the moment you feel this is your best work. Nothing short of genius.
Then when you set it down for a while and you reread it. Then in the rereading your are shocked. You must assume that you must have been intoxicated or high on some disillusionment while creating this monstrosity. Because the body of work you produced is not near as good as you thought it was.
It is an awful feeling.
But of course, the best way to get better at something is to keep doing it, till you are no longer bad at it.
I know I can vlog, and I know I could do it well. I have the eye, I have the talent, and at least I think I am funny.
It is the practice I abhor. The constantly not being as good as you want to be.
And I guess that is where I must baby step it to my goal.
Just keep swimming until I reach my destination.
That eventually, I will be good at this thing.
This vlog took me at least a month to film, and another week procrastinating the monologue section.
But, I finished it. And now I must move forward to the next video. Time will keep ticking away and so must I.
Training Camp is just around the corner and God knows I am nervous about that. The amount I must do from now till October is still mountainous, but I have come so far, and I will continue to climb.
