Sometimes Love comes around and It knocks you down just get back up when it knocks you down.
Let me Tarantino it. The spinning
stops, the banging sound of metal screeching and glass shattering silences for
a second as the smell of gasoline fumes hit my nostrils, adrenaline trickles
in. First thought, It’s gonna blow make a run for it(thanks Hollywood)
adrenaline increases. 1.5 seconds later, I’m out the window ready to head for
the hills, reality and reason start to surface as the shock of seeing Tommy
laying motionless his head and torso under the rear of the van hits me. How in
the world did he get outside and under the van, this is not good. Adrenaline
increases, I try to lift the van with everyone in it by myself. Honestly I think it moved but not
nearly enough. As I yelled for everyone to get out I saw a Malawi man I had
jumped over to get out as he lay dead looking with blood gushing from his head.
I feel no pain but there’s blood on me and I could be hurt. Everyone gets out
pretty quickly we lift the van largely with the help of Dan’s great strength
and adrenaline and Melissa pulls Tommy out from under it. God didn’t bring us here to kills us like this, I know he’s going to be
alright. Locals begin to the surround the van in a couple minutes there are
hundreds of people.
I
find my phone on the floor I really put my Otter box case to the test and it
passed. I get a hold of Josh because I don’t know what 911 is in Malawi.
Amazingly none of the 200 people around me speak enough English to tell me
where we are. After a few minutes I finally find someone to. As Josh tells me
to find a ride and not o wait for an ambulance because they take hours a
military transport truck pulls up and Tommy’s on his way to nearby a hospital
that’s just happens to be 5 min away in the middle of nowhere within 10 minutes
of the crash, better then the average time in the U.S. God or chance, you
decide. Daniels half blind his glasses flew somewhere, He’s also got a nice
piece of glass in his hand, Juliet’s arms looks broken everyone’s else is just
dazed confused and beat up.
Malawi has been awesome. God has
done so much these past 2 weeks. He’s brought many people to a relationship
with Him as well as encouraged and challenged many other singles, married
couples and church leaders. He’s planted two churches where the chief’s of the
small rural village joined. He’s given out very much appreciated Chichewa(local
language) bibles which not many believers are able to afford here. He’s used
his children to bless and encourage each other and see his Spirit and power at
work. He provided a small dirty pond in the middle of some fields where He was
able to baptize a dozen or so of the new believers in the second church he
planted. My team was so greatly blessed and stretched to work out our faith by
the local pastors we worked with in the village of Dedza. Were not powerful
preachers and were not expert door to door evangelists and we definitely haven’t
experienced much in the marriage department enough to teach workshops on it.
Luckily though, God is able to equip those whom he calls, and speak his truths
to his people through the inadequate if they are but willing to be used. I’m
learning faith and boldness is more like a muscle then a achievement. You have to exercise them and put them into practice
regularly to build them up. I’ve never had to preach sermons so much and on instantly
small notice to a array of audiences whom I have little understanding of. I’ve
never written a sermon and I don’t have a go to bible story, but I’ve got a
little bit of the Holy Spirit and a big God who is able to step in and take
over the words if I can just have the simple boldness to ask and open my mouth-
to God be the glory.
God
has been teaching me a few things this past week. I got another opportunity to
“count it all joy” when I went to visit my 4th doctor on the race
(one in every continent so far!) it was just another case of food poisoning or
bad water, I’m better now. Still I’m learning that I need to stop trusting in
modern technology and society for my health and start trusting in God. The same
goes with “safety” and many other things. The truth is I am no “safer” back
home or more “healthy” although I rarely get sick there. “Unless the Lord
builds the house” which is your life or even your body its health and your
safety is a waste. Marathons runners and millionaires in gated community’s drop
dead in an instant just like everyone else. I think it’s times I start taking
the fact that I am living in eternity to heart and stop focusing the vast
majority of my time on things that are temporary.
Lastly,
God really spoke a resounding message to me through a couple of avenues
yesterday, which is a big deal to me because I don’t feel like I often here God
really communicating to me significantly. In the morning a friend shared a
devotional with me about Caleb from the bible, how “He followed God fully” and
received the mountain of Horeb as his inheritance. How he was as strong at 85
both for war and coming in as going out as he was at 45. Since training camp
the whole Caleb and Joshua story has been spoken over me but its realty never
fully set it. In the afternoon on our buss ride to our second village God
really spoke to me through and awesome Francis Chan podcast from a conference.
I’ve heard scores of his sermons but this one was the most unique. He started
with asserting that many Christians have really become immune to sermons. We
may listen to “radical” speakers or those who speak “hard truths” and wear that
like a badge of honor but what the hell are we doing for heavens sake. Have all
the powerful messages I’ve heard really had a powerful operating manifestation
in my life. Or do I just say amen that’s true and not really change my life
much.
Jesus
didn’t seem to take a lot of stock in his own sermons. He said “those who have
ears let them hear”, I think because his message was pretty simple. If you want
to save your life Lose it all of it, everyone and everything in it take up your
cross and follow me. Make me the entirety of your life not a pastime or hobby
or one of your pursuits. No one
starts building a tower without counting the cost at the beginning. The cost of
Jesus’ way is EVERYTHING. If you aren’t willing to give that, its not for you,
why are you wasting your time. I don’t know how to justify God saying Mat7:22″Many will come to me in the last days saying
Lord Lord have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name,
and done many wonder in Your name?” What? I’m on a mission trip in Malawi
Africa, I sleep in a tent full of dirt and walk around preaching the gospel,
but I’m not sure if I’ve cast out any demons. I certainly can’t clearly tell is
someone is truly possessed, or converse with the demon and ask Him his name and
command him where to go. I don’t think I’ve prophesied or done many wonders in
God’s name. So these guys are ahead of me but they’re still missing it? What’s
the standard? The verse before “but he who does the will of the Father.” Ok
what’s God’s will. Primarily I think it is to be loved. Consequently, his will
is to have a personal relationship with every human being. Moreover, he is a
God of Justice and righteous. He wants the whole world to be full of his Glory
and justice. Just like Adam’s job was to bring the fruitfulness of the garden
into the bareness of the world and change it. Ours is to bring the fruitfulness
and glory of God to the “end of the earth.” So is that my goal in life? For
these next five months sure, its definitely one of them. If I took a survey of
every thought I had word I spoke and dollar I spent I cant say its definitely
the main one but its one of them.
After the race? I don’t know, Id like to get a job that’s fun
and take some vacations and play some sports, maybe get married. I’ll never
forget God but the whole making his will the EVERYTHING in my life seems a bit
much, where do you draw the line 50/50% seems fair. That’s the paradox. The
only place a line could possibly be clear would be to draw It at everything. Giving
10% and going to church on Sunday, trying to be moral, and a few missions trips
is a joke when you honestly look at the bible. I’m not saying God is calling
everyone to sell everything or even to move; but if
1.
Your not tuned into God enough to be able to
hear him if he did call you and
2.
2 if your not willing to do give up anything and
everything
It’s pretty clear Jesus’ response
would be “He is not worthy to be my disciple” and disciples are what its
about. Jesus didn’t send the 12
out to make modern day American I’ve got my ticket to heaven give 10% and try
to love people Christian, or even I took 11 months to be uncomfortable for God
as well as to make myself feel better and seek praise from others prideful self
righteous missionaries.. He sent them
to make Disciples. That’s the only thing I want to do. Honestly I’m hesitant to
lead someone in a “sinners prayer” to “ask God into their heart” neither of
which are even found in the bible, if I don’t think there will be others to
come behind me and disciple. I guess for now I just have to trust God to
continue the work he starts with us but that certainly should be the goal not
conversions or some acts of kindness in Jesus’ name.
Francis’s
favorite verse is James 5:17″Elijah was a man just like us” Often I forget that
God is the same now as we was then. I forget that his power is the same and
there is no reason why my life can’t look like Moses, or Elijah’s, or Paul or
Peters, or Caleb’s. I think sometimes I set them on a pedestal like I could never
be them or like them, but Jesus says those who follow will do even greater
things them him. I believe now. There is no difference. The things the world
sees as “radical” is less then boring compared to the bible, that’s my
standard. I’ve heard modern day stories, now I want to live them. Of course I
can’t expect to experience what they experience with out deeply knowing the God
who did them. So I must lose the things I know in exchange for something
better, I must lose my life if I want to save it because God is always open to
receive a life but you have the freedom to choose how much you are willing to
give. I want to give everything. I don’t know exactly what that will look like
for me, but I know what the results will look like.
He
ended his sermon reading about Caleb, saying he wanted to be like Caleb. I want
to be like Caleb, one of only two people who believed God. I want to be Caleb.
The 21st century version of him with the same God. I don’t know what
tomorrow holds, but I don’t care. I know who holds tomorrow. Francis says he
doesn’t believe what other say, He know his God can do the same great things he
did with Elijah with us. –BANG my podcast is interrupted with the sound of our
right rear tire blowing loudly and thumping against the wheel well. The noise made
my heart skip a beat for a half a second but then reason and my experience with
numerous blow outs at even higher speeds reminded me it’s not big deal just
remove your foot from the accelerator and keep straight until you slow down
enough to gradually veer off the road. In the second that thought process we
start to veer left, hard, way to hard this shouldn’t be happening I yell
something to the effect of “NO why are your turning!” were headed for sideways
and I know what the next outcome in a top heavy minibus crammed with people
only the driver has a seatbelt and the back seat isn’t even bolted down. As I
cover my head with my arms as instinct I developed I think both from being
launched off many tubes at high speed to skip across the water and from surf
crashes to protect from the board and fins hitting my head. It starts. Over and
over we go. It’s loud, where have not control, like being caught in a crashing
wave rolling over and over except instead of only having a sandbar to hit
there’s a conglomerate of metal and people and luggage. We roll somewhere
around 3 times for what feels like about 6 seconds, 6 very slow and scary
seconds. I was nervous of a sudden impact or for everything to just go black,
but it was just the same thing over and over until finally we were at rest. I
began with what happened next.
Tommy
is out of the hospital recovering with no broken bones or internal bleeding.
Everyone else is bruised up but where alright as well. I have no doubt God was
with us through and after the crash working in our bodies, and in the driver
heart as well(blog to follow.)Tommy is still in a neck brace and quite sore so
keep him in your prayers, and be encouraged that God hears them and protects
his children and makes all things work together for good for those who love God
and are called according to his purpose. To God be the glory.
“…nor do I count my life dear to myself so that I may finish
the race with joy and the ministry which I received From the Lord Jesus to
testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”
Check out Francis’ Podcast http://media.newspring.cc/audio/LeadershipPodcast/nlc.2010.audio/NLC_2010_Session_05-FrancisChan-LP.mp3
