This story is about the harsh truths I have learned about myself, but in order to share the story, I have to set the stage, and although I doubt he will ever go online or ever look for my blog, I changed the name on my new friend and used google images out of respect.
I wish this story was about the first
‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40.
Sadly I am the second
‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ Matthew 25: 45
BUT GOD USES OUR FAILURES TO REFINE US AND DRAW US TOWARDS HIM! HALLELUJAH!!
BUT GOD USES OUR FAILURES TO REFINE US AND DRAW US TOWARDS HIM! HALLELUJAH!!
There have been great moments this month, but honestly, Australia has been a difficult month for me. I keep thinking “Man, I can’t wait for Africa when we will be dealing with real problems, and people who really want Christ.”
In a weird way I almost think the bugs, dirtiness and poverty of people makes me more excited to share Christ. LAME! LAME! LAME!
So in the irony of life, God placed Jamal into my life, a 52 year old man who chooses to be bound to a wheelchair instead of walking.
Just like Africa, Jamal is covered in bugs and dirt, but actually has money which he chooses to spend on beer and gives to kids to be missionaries.
Did I get excited for a chance to be a REAL missionary like I had asked God for? No I shuddered when he invited us to go over for dinner.
So three of us guys walked into Jamal’s house. They saw his kindness. I saw the gnats, the cigarette butts everywhere, the scum on the oven, and a myriad of other things that would make someone puke back home.
The smell was bad, but the touch was worse. This picture doesn’t reflect the griminess that you feel. It wasn’t that there was trash, but it was a feeling of real filth everywhere. 
At first, things were going suprisingly well aside from the mess. We made casual conversation for a while, free style rapped to some american rap tracks (I have hidden talents in hip hop), and then even ‘white boy danced’ a bit while we were hanging out. and then it was finally time to eat. I was disgusted thinking about what Jamal had used to make our curry dinner. There were ants crawling all over the kitchen, and the dishes were layered with old food caked on.
So here I am. I have the dirty enviornment, I have the bugs crawling over my curry, throughout my chair, and all over my feet now. I should be so excited because this is what I had been praying for, and now I am praying for God to get me out of there.
Brian, Jon and I made intentional gulps and swallowed down the food as kindly as we could knowing that the hands that prepared it haven’t been washed in a very long time. We pushed out the memory of the brush, that was hidden under a cushion of his couch, that he used to spread the oil on the bread. We added extra hot sauce to kill what might be in the food. (I picked out several ants during the meal)
AND NOW THE PART THAT BURNED MY SOUL
As we were eating dinner and talking to Jamal, I tried to listen and understand this man who is so very different than me. He was telling us about his loneliness, his attempts at suicide, his anger, and his confussion about God.
Jamal needed tough love. He needed someone to listen, and someone to speak in love. Sadly, I was giving up on both. I had already thought myself a martyr by eating the food. I was certain I had done my duty of kindness by spending a few hours there, and I couldn’t handle any more sad stories.
I started asking tough questions about why he was the way he was, why he didn’t change, and after an hour of “getting no where in my opinion” I thanked him and left without the other guys. I had lost my cool. My emmotions were flying high, I was frustrated, upset that I had gotten nowhere, and then I took a breath and felt the burn from conviciton.
Jesus didn’t care for the healthy, he cared for the sick. He hung out in the bars, with the tax collectors, the social outcasts and prostitutes. He saw past the dirtiness, and spoke to the soul.
-I missed the soul, and got discouraged by the dirtiness. –
I hadn’t loved. I hadn’t shown kindness. I went through motions, but I did it out of duty and not out of love. Real missions is having the same mindset of that of Christ Jesus. I am reassured because I know that God forgives, He grows, and He matures us all. But it is tough realizing how much growth I need.
So my friends and family. Please pray. Pray for me to love, pray for my heart, pray for me to really learn submission to God.
Thanks for your encouragement. Thanks for your love, thanks for your prayers and thanks for being such an important part of what keeps me going.
Phillippeans 2:3-5
3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
PRAISE THE LORD HE IS A GOD OF MERCY AND GROWTH. I AM GROWING, I AM LEARNING, AND I AM THANKFUL GOD IS MOLDING ME WITH HIS HANDS.
