I am a believer in God’s timing.
Although I don’t know if I’ve always lived like I believe in his timing, but I do. Or well…I am beginning too. See through this whole process I never was 100% sure that He was calling me to the World Race. And to be honest, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt 100% about anything He’s asked of me. Course why would now be any different? But sometimes I’m not logical. Sometimes I’m way too emotional.
I was having a conversation about God’s will/plan for our lives with some of my best friends the other day. I made the same confession to them that I have just made to you. “I’m not sure.” That is when my dear friend said “Maybe we’re not supposed to be 100% positive when following God’s will. Cause if we’re sure, then it takes no faith. I think He wants us to have faith.” And in that moment, my life made sense. Every step I’ve ever taken has made sense. All those years ago when He whispered to me “Have Faith” it wasn’t just a nudge out the door, it was the life He is commanding me to lead.
Not only do I believe that He is sending me on the Race, but that He is sending me NOW. As I sit here and evaluate me life in this particular time I’m simply struck with how broken I am. How broken my life is. Things have been falling apart for weeks. My relationship crumbled. My friendships have been strained. My leadership has waned. I am utterly lost.
So how else should I find myself? How else should the pieces of my broken heart be healed? In what other way could I become who I am meant to be?
Over the last few weeks I have been hearing from somewhere deep in my soul “It’s time” I have to leave to come back. For me to have any significance in my world I must leave. See, I have lived in the same city, in the same state in the same country for 21 years. I have lived in the same house for 19 of those years. I went to the same school system my entire 12 years. The same church since I was 7. the same church I worked at up until 2 weeks ago. I am surrounded by sameness. And if I ever want more, I must leave. This is what was taught to me by those I love.
“And then that word grew louder and louder until it was a battle cry. I’ll come back when it ‘s over, no need to say goodbye.”
