Currently Listening to: My mom skpye with my sister.
I have always been a pretty easy going girl. I don't get mad about a lot of things. I rarely get offended. In school when people would worry about tests, making good grades anything school related, I probably didn't care enough so I was never bothered. But now, now I am….Stressed. Now I have something that I care enough about to be stressed. The word I never thought could describe me. But I am constantly stressed. Will I raise enough support? Will I be able to get all of the items I will need for the World Race? How will leaving my friends and family affect me? I can't stand bugs, how can I be in wilderness with bugs crawling everywhere? There are many more questions constantly rolling through my head. I'm sure this is common, but for me I'm going crazy. Last Saturday night I was very stressed mainly about money and during Saturday night school(the college and career version of Sunday school) I asked for prayer for my worring about rasing support and about people being willing to donate. Our teacher Randy(one of the wisest men I have ever known) asked me what I expected out of God? Did I pray for him to provide the minimum, 15,500? Or was I praying for him to excced that and provided out of excess? And that hit hard. I had been praying and thinking in minimum. Hoping I'd get just enough, and if I couldn't get the 15,500 I could always take out a loan or borrow from my parents. But how foolish I was! Why would I pray for the minimum for this all powerful God I believe in? How could I think that he would not give abundantly for something He has call me to do? 15,500 is nothing to him. 20,000…25,000…1 million…that is all nothing to Him. My prayers have changed a lot over this last week. And on Tuesday when I asked Him for something to show me that I could not do this on my own, through 3 people I recived 850.00$. More that I could have imagined from 3 people. Now I'm not saying I'm not still stressed, I think I'll be stressed out till the end, but now my prayers have changed and my prayers instill more hope and faith in my God. I have a long road ahead and that's not including the actual trip.But my faith is growing. My big God is getting bigger in my eyes.
