A lot of people have asked me recently what made me want to leave everything and go on a 9 month mission trip, and I’m sure that a lot of people assume that it’s because I get to travel and meet super cool people but honestly as great as all that is, that’s not at all the reason I’m going. I’m going because I want to share the love that I have found, I want to share the love of Christ.
If you know me well, you know that throughout most of my life I had pretty much no relationship with God. Even though I grew up going to a Catholic grade school and am now about to graduate from a Catholic high school I have never been a religious person. I’ve always known that God was there but I never took the time to seek Him and build a relationship with Him until about a year and a half ago. I don’t really talk about this a lot because I hate dwelling on the past, but I was at one of the lowest points in my life. It was hard for me to get out of bed every morning and because of some of the toxic relationships I was in, my self-confidence was completely shattered. I hated waking up everyday and having to be me. One night I was on my bathroom floor crying and for the first time in what felt like forever, I turned to God. I talked to Him and cried to Him for at least 2 hours and I’m not kidding y’all I felt Him with me. I knew He was there and I knew in that moment how real He was and I haven’t doubted it a single day since. His love is so real and it is unconditional, even when we don’t seek Him, He is still there. His love for us never ends, even when we chose to turn away.
Since that day, I have found a happiness I have never felt before, and all I want is for other people to feel that. I want other people to know the love that is out there. I want other people to know Him and how real He is because it has completely changed my life for the better. And trust me I know that most of the time, the things I say won’t change what a person believes, but after finding that kind of love, all I want to do is share it. Everyone deserves to know a love like that, a love that skips over no one, a love that is unconditional and will NEVER end so I’m trusting in His plan and I’m going to share His love in Guatemala, Lesotho, and Cambodia.
So even though it may be crazy, I’m leaving everything I know and following God around the world for 9 months because I know it is what He is calling me to do. I’m definitely not saying I know everything, and if I’m being honest sometimes I feel completely unqualified to go on this trip since I have discovered all of this so recently but I know He has so much He wants to teach me and all I want is to share the love that He has for each and every one of us to all the people I come in contact with. If I can point one person in His direction, it was worth every second.
I have been so blessed throughout my life but I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated everything I have, I sometimes tend to focus so much on the negative aspects of life and I forget to look at all that I have to be thankful for. There is so much in all of our lives that is to be celebrated. My goal for 2016 is to live every single day like the gift it is. We were given such an amazing thing when we were given life and I want to live it out like the blessing it is and hopefully show others how much of a blessing it is as well.
So I’m going to share two quotes from a book I recently read that have stuck with me that I think y’all might like:
“Life is painful, and we carry with us so much disappointment and heartbreak. But I’m fighting to save some space inside me where I can create hope. I can’t live there in the disappointment anymore. I’ve missed whole seasons in my life. I look back and all I remember is pain. I wasted a lot of time wishing I was different. I didn’t love the gift of life because I was too busy being angry about the life I was given. I wanted it to be different. But being angry didn’t change those things. It just wasted time. I can’t take away the things that have happened to you or to me, but what we have, maybe as a reward for getting through all the other days, is today. Today is a gift. And if we have tomorrow, tomorrow will be a gift”
“Right now, around our house, all the leaves are falling, and there’s no reason that they have to turn electric bright red before they fall, but they do, and I want to live like that. I want to say, “What can I do today that brings more beauty, more energy, more hope?” because it seems like that’s what God is saying to us, over and over. “What can I do today to remind you again how good this life is? You think the color of the sky is good now, wait till sunset. You think oranges are good? Try a tangerine.” He’s a crazy delightful mad scientist and keeps coming back from the lab with great, unbelievable new things, and it’s a gift. It’s a gift to be a part of it.”
Fundraising update:
There are 3 HUGE ways you can support me through this process, first off, I have a $5000 deadline coming up in May and I have about $720 in my account currently so if you feel led to give please do. It would also be amazing if you could keep my team and I in your prayers as we prepare for this crazy, amazing journey that God has in store for us, and lastly please share my blog! The more it is shared the more support I can potentially get. Thank y’all SO much for your constant love and support throughout all of this! If you have any questions please feel free to call or text me at 502-420-8366 or email me at [email protected]
Much Love,
Caitlynn
