One of our last nights at Khoadee my teammate Heather and I were sitting under the stars talking about our time there. I started to tell her how frustrated I had been the past 2 weeks. I told her how I felt so rejected by the children and I wasn’t sure how to connect with them. For 2 weeks my team had tried everything we knew to do to connect with the children. We would sit with them at dinner, which would end in us being ignored or the children leaving to go sit at another table. We would try to join in and play sports with them, but they seemed to have no interest in playing with us. We would try to help them with chores, but they would say they didn’t need our help.
Now, before I go further into this story, it is important that I mention that Thai cultural is completely different from American cultural. The cultural is all about respect for people older than you. Which is why the children would say no when we asked to help out around the property. Also, the children at Khoadee were extremely shy, we had been warned they were really shy, but we weren’t prepared for just how shy they would be towards us. Which is why they were slow to talk to us or play with us. The last note I need to add is that the first week our team was there we made pretty much every cultural mistake we could have, which also attributed to the children pushing us away.
As I was telling Heather my frustrations and how discouraged I was from being rejected by the children over and over, she encouraged me to go to the Lord for my assurance. She told me I could ask the Lord for His encouragement, ask Him to show me if I was following His will, if I needed to continue to seek these children out even though I as continually being rejected.
I decided to ask the Lord for an answer, ask Him if I should continue to pour everything I had into these children and if He would refill me. And, here’s the kind of crazy part…I decided to ask Him for a sign. Yes, a SIGN. For Him to show me a sign if I was indeed doing what He wanted. I began to pray telling Him I needed His encouragement, I told Him I felt like I had given everything I had and I needed Him to encourage me and fill me back up so I could continue to be rejected if that was His will. So, I asked Him specifically to give me a sign from the children. I asked Him for just one child to come up to me and initiate with me. I told Him I didn’t care what the child did, they could just simply come and sit beside me at dinner, or they could just ask me to play a game with them.
I was a bit skeptical I must admit. I thought that in some way I was challenging the Lord, even though I knew He loved me and I knew I could ask for Him to show me that He loved me. I knew He was my Father and I knew He would encourage me, but I wasn’t sure He worked like this. I wasn’t sure I could just ask for something so specific.
The next morning I went to breakfast and stood in line with the children waiting to get my food. After I had my food I walked to get a fork and as I was walking to sit down at a table with some of my team, one of the children called me over and asked me to sit beside him. Yes, a child asked me to sit beside him! At the table! At breakfast! Beside him! In that moment I could feel the Lord smiling down at me. And not only did I get to sit beside one child, two more came over and sat beside me. Does the Lord provide? Yes. Does the Lord give us more than we could ever ask of Him? Yes.
Later in the day I was walking to our room, and I passed by the ping-pong table. So I decided to stop for a minute and just watch. The children are so good at ping-pong, so I figured I could watch and just enjoy, because I knew they would never let me play. I had stood in the same spot, watching the same children play multiple times, and they never let me play. So I stood there just trying to be present. Then, one of the children looked at me and asked me to play with them. Yes, he asked me. I didn’t have to ask…or beg. I knew again, that the Lord was looking down on my smiling. I knew He was telling me to keep it up, to keep seeking these children out, no matter what it took.
Here are a few pictures of my two best friends from Thailand, Chakrit and Kittisak!
Chakrit
Kittisak
Sending much love from a village in Cambodia,
Caitlyn
p.s. Cambodia is AMAZING. The people here are wonderful, and so far the time we’ve spent here has been beyond anything I could have imagined. I can’t wait to share the month with you! Get ready for heart-warming pictures of beautiful women and children, plus stories that will blow your mind!
