Yea, God wants that too.
 
Recent conversations, events, and blogs have gotten me thinking. I would like to stand more in this Truth – that God wants every…EVERY part of our lives and hearts and minds.

Yet, I didn’t always want to believe this.

Throughout most of my life I had kept the romantic part of my heart secret. As a “super-Christian” [God has since knocked me down and humbled me, oh, so much.] I just figured relationships were immature. It embarrassed me so I didn’t share anything with anyone. It was a sign of weakness I put on those that couldn’t control their emotions. It was a crutch that people held onto for their own self-worth. Dating was a game for the shallow and manipulative people to occupy their social calendar. [I thank God for forgiveness and GRACE in opening me more to His truth and true love for me and others!] It was because of this superiority complex and blind-eye that gradually buried my scared heart deep within my chest. I wouldn’t even let God touch it. Who knows what He’d want to do with the romantic part. I’d probably end up with one of those “nice” guys who uses coasters and still lives with his mom…but at least he would be a regular church attendee and know all the “right” Sunday school answers. [Jesus!]
 
This past year has permanently changed me.

I was on the way to a good friend’s wedding around Chicago last week. On the ride there I got to pick up another sweet friend. Darcy had also returned to the states a few weeks ago and we were both eager to swap stories, life changes, and the greatness of an Awesome God. I was telling her about the Race and the changes my heart had to go through. God visually showed me the state of my heart throughout this past year. Before I had even left it was locked in a cage and buried deep within me. A few months into the trip my heart was opened and bloody and bruised and dirty. It was a gross piece of meat laying on the footstep of God’s door. I couldn’t do anything with it anymore. The control and fear that had kept it secret for so long actually nearly suffocated and killed it. God was telling me He wanted everything in me to be His. And to make that happen He took everything from me. During months of crying out to the Lord for understanding and comfort He simply gave me Himself. Towards the end, in the most recent months, I saw a new picture of my heart. It was…it is clean and renewed and pumping full of life. It is safely protected and guarded by my King. Darcy finished my story with encouraging words of my healing and added with a song that proclaimed the chains have all been taken away. That part of me is finally His and I think we’re both rejoicing.

Later during the wedding week, though, Darcy asked how I was doing. The entire week and fellowship and wedding were amazing. No doubt that this is where I needed to be and who I needed to be around. But my good friend was getting married. She found a man who would be her partner in life and in ministry. He brings out the best of life in her and loves her above himself. They have fun together and fit together so perfectly. But my internal question arose: How the heck can you love someone that much? [You try being in my head with these questions…it’s hard.] So much that you know they love you too. So much that you’re willing to endure, and put your friends through, a week of hard-core planning and preparation for a wedding – a wedding that involves tons of your family and friends who just by being there agree and support this life decision you and this other person are about to make. That’s huge! How can you be so sure? I’ve never been close to a decision or state like that before. I felt out of place and unable to support or relate to my friend during this special time. Darcy reminded me that I just have to be me… God has me, loves me, and expects just me.

>>Forgive the cultural stereotype for the moment but…

Single young Christians in our country who aren’t engaged by 20 seem to be under a lot of pressure. What’s the deal? High school, college, then a wedding the day after graduation and bam. That’s the expectation? [I know that’s not 100% accurate, I never studied statistics of any kind, and I’m only 1 of a whole bunch of you young kids out there…]

Yet, it is comforting to know that there are fathers looking out for this generation. They have a bit more wisdom and a bit more experience than me. Here’s some from Black and Seth’s blogs this past week:

Gary Black’s startling observation: “The fruit of dating is divorce. The mentality develops that says, “I go out with this one for a while, try this one out; give my heart and emotions to someone that has NO right to have them”… young people, it’s not enough to be a virgin when you get married, you cannot even give your emotions away! So, when I get married; when things get tough, I am out… the 67% divorce rate in the Church should wake you up!”

Seth Barnes breaks down the dating system: “Consider: It exposes young people to temptations and emotional turmoil when marriage is never a consideration. It gives them experience in frequent failure and the consequent flushing of relationships.  It puts pressure on young people and sends them through unnecessary ups and downs.  It interrupts a process of emotional development, isolating young people from the perspective and wisdom they need. And it subjects young people to decisions about sex that they are unprepared to make.”

I am worth the wait. I am a princess of the King. I am beautiful. I am pretty amazing. Young women, speak truth over your life again and again. Believe the beauty and grace that is poured over you daily by your Father. Recognize the lies that guys, girls, and the culture may want you to believe and refuse to harvest them. If you can’t think of anything give me a call and I will gladly share with you the wonders and treasures and thoughts He has about you.

This is my favorite part…

…what took so long for me to figure out…

…who’s doing the drum role?

God wants EVERYTHING!! Because He loves us that much! It doesn’t matter what has happened. He wants it. Everything that makes you you. Everything that can call out, “I am His!” Everything that can be touched by His healing and forgiving grace and unconditional love. Yes, His unconditional love! Because He is the Maker of perfect love. And He is the Maker of you.

This is just my side of the story – He’d love to hear and be yours too.

“…Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…” 1 Corinthians 13:7