Hmmm –
So this is it? Finally. Wow! The Final Banquet was the much-anticipated grand-ending to our eleven months. Whoa. It’s what we had been looking forward to, thought about, shopped for, and known about for a long time. And now I’m sitting comfortably in my pajamas with my hair still done up. Others are still out enjoying the company of family for the short time we have left together. Some are relaxing and packing/throwing away gross clothes back in their rooms.
It was memorably wonderful. I tried to soak in each moment, each smile and laughter. We looked normal for the first time in a long time – dressed up and clean. It didn’t matter though. I was stressing the past couple days trying to help out, get pretty, finished little projects, thinking about living stateside again, be my shining self for the banquet….it doesn’t matter. None of it.
What did we do this past year? What did I accomplish or how did I change to prove to people back home that I mean something? That I made a difference? Doesn’t matter. Tonight we had dinner as a family. We laughed when silly awards were given our. We were honored when we received our diplomas of completion. We posed for some pretty good looking pictures. Those too will fade.
What caught my heart, what pulled me to His throne again were simple words from a song. A projector was brought in to share team slide shows on a sheet in the middle of a local restaurant for us. We got to see highlights of the year and remember people we had met along the way. As the pictures rolled on my ears picked up His message, “I want more of You and less of me.”
Done. That’s it. That’s the message these months transformed our hearts to live and breath and speak. At the instant the worry ended and God’s overwhelming love came down. No longer was the fear of going back holding me back. No longer was I going to allow doubt to cripple my authority. No longer could I let judgment and pride place me anywhere but at His feet. I want more of You and less of me.
Thanks D-squad for allowing God to be A-mazing through you this past year. I love you and am grateful for every moment, laugh, hug, talk, and tear. Many prayers and love in your next adventures!
