It’s not that late but I should be in bed. Sleeping peacefully. Yet, I’ve arguably realized that when nights get like this (in the way that I can’t get into my REM within the three hours that I toss in bed) God wants to say something.
Thank You, Jesus, but I much rather be curled up and comfortable right now. Ha, I guess I gave that lifestyle up completely when I answered Him the first time. Nah, but really, Lord what is it?
I’ve found myself recently talking and thinking to myself in my head without really consulting Him. Ouch. Thinking back a couple days ago when I noticed I hadn’t reall heard from my God in a while (as in no deep sense of the Spirit, no vision, no dream, no voice, no pushing) He subtly turned my heart and focus towards His light again – How does He feel? I just realized my selfishness in not hearing Him and I was complaining, but – How does He feel? How does He feel when His people don’t talk with Him? Don’t come to Him before decisions? During times of hell? Don’t run to Him in praise? And here I am sitting on my butt frustrated that I can’t hear Him – for like a couple days which is what “oh, blink, that’s all” to Him.
Thank You God for allowing me to come back to You. And showing me how important it is to just be with You, always. I’m trying to plan everything out, trying to have everything make sense, trying to sort my life out even after the World Race, trying to make life a fairy tale. I know it says nothing is impossible with God – so as a visual aid and good example, all those things are impossible ’cause I try and do them without Him. And life doesn’t work on my terms or my time. Thankfully, too, “But the man who loves God is known by God.” (1 Cor. 8:3) He hasn’t forgotten me or any of His children. (insomniac or not)
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.
Ephesians 1:18-19
