10 days until I leave for launch! That is so crazy, y’all. Originally I really struggled with not being “busy” all the time. While it still may not be comfortable I have learned to really enjoy certain aspects of it. For one, I have had a lot of time to meet up with old friends and catch up. Secondly, I have had a lot of time to paint, draw, and read. One of the books I’m reading is called ‘The Artisan Soul’. Guys! It’s so good. There’s this quote from the book that I really love, “Far too often, when we think we are frightened by mystery, the fact is that we are haunted by history. This is the tension of the present. There are voices that call us into the future and voices that call us into the past. Eventually, somewhere down the road in the silence of a paralyzing moment, we have to decide what voice will define us and what story we choose to be in – which is the narrative that guides.”
We are defined by every person we have ever met, every place we have ever been, the conversations we have, the books we read, … you get the idea. Naturally not all of the things that make us who we are have been easy. There are voices from our past that speak of our inadequacies based on past failures, there are voices in our future that make us fearful, there are voices in our present that tell us we aren’t good enough as we are. It makes sense that so many people struggle to hear God’s voice. He is competing with so many others in our head. But at the end of the day we can control which voice we listen to, “which is the narrative that guides” as Erwin McManus would say.
If we seek Him, and if we listen we will find a voice that tells a much different story than we would tell for ourselves. A voice that tells us that we are worthy (Ephesians 1:6-7), loved (Romans 5:8), chosen (Ephesians 1:11), and free (Romans 8:2). A voice that calls us to live a life bigger than ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I definitely want to be guided by that voice.
Now, this is sort of ironic, but nothing scares me more than living a life controlled by fear. I don’t think we really realize how many of our actions are controlled by fear. I want to give up the fear, I want to put my trust and faith in Jesus and follow where He leads. I want to let go of the worry and just be. So pray for me on that, will ya!
Also, please be in prayer for my entire squad as we transition into the start of our race. There are a few people who still haven’t met the deadline to launch, so prayers that God would provide! And thank you so much to those of you that have supported me financially or through prayer!!! It seriously means so much to me.
Love y’all.
Cait
