Early this year my best friend and I spent a long weekend in Colorado to celebrate her birthday. We got to spend time with some great friends, explore Denver, and go skiing. Which I had never done before, but I like to consider myself relatively athletic…not to mention some kids start skiing when they are like 6 years old. I mean how hard could it be?
We got to Keystone early on Saturday morning. The night before a big storm had swept through the area which left the mountain covered in fresh snow (apparently this is ideal). My nerves started to set in a little bit when we were getting our gear at one of the shops… part of me was glad everyone I was with had been skiing before (I definitely needed someone to show me what to do) and part of me dreaded knowing I would be the one slowing everybody down. I mean who likes to be the worst at something? Certainly not this girl.
Later that day we finally got to the top of the slope. All I really knew at that point was something about making my skis look like pizza or hot dogs? Seemed a little weird, but ok. And then seconds later, I just went for it. I figured it was one of those “learn as you go” type of things. Yeah, well, looking back learning a little more before I went couldn’t have hurt. Moments later, I was crumpled up on the side of the mountain with one ski twisted at a weird angle and one ski a few feet away from me. I look up to see my best friend tumbling down towards me in a panicked attempt to get to me once she saw me start falling. It was sort of a disaster. But definitely one we could laugh about. The rest of my trip down the mountain was more or less the same. Ski for a few feet and then fall. Luckily, some guy who worked on the mountain felt so bad for me that he stayed with me the entire trip down giving me pointers and helping me not fall (as much)!! I seriously would have given up if it wasn’t for this guy.
Anyway, all of this to say, we will undoubtedly experience failure in our life. Whenever I am struggling at something or wrestling with the unknowns in my future is when I am most aware of my dependence on God. I am always dependent on God, but there are definitely times where I don’t feel that way. When my future is clear before me and I can see the path I am going down I have some illusion of control in my life. I start to feel like I need God less because I think I can control my path. God uses failure in my life to humble me to the realization of how much I need him and how dependent I am on him. This may be a dumb comparison, but just like my failure at skiing made me realize my dependence on the guy who worked there and my friends who knew what they were doing, my failure in different areas of my life make me realize my dependence on God.
I leave for training camp tomorrow. And a couple months after that I leave for an 11 month trip around the world to show people the love of Jesus. Other than knowing what countries I will be in (though even that could change) I have almost no idea what to expect. All I know is that God has called me to take this leap of faith and to trust him with my future. I love not knowing what’s going to happen. The opportunities feel endless. I don’t know why when we get to a certain point in our lives or our careers we start to limit ourselves. Instead of seeing a hundred different paths we can go down we start seeing just a few. One of my favorite authors, Bob Goff, summarizes it well, he says “When you are in high school, you don’t give much thought to what you can’t do. For most people, that gets learned later, and for still fewer, gets unlearned for the rest of life.” I hope to be the kind of person that can look ahead and always see endless possibilities.
In Christ,
Cait
P.S. To everyone who has supported me through prayer, financially, or both, I am so grateful for you!! God is using you to show me his unfailing ability to provide for me!
