After finishing the children’s camps we were doing, we were able to pick the next place we would minister. We had two weeks left before debrief to go where we felt led. Through a lot of prayer and waiting on the Lord, my team agreed that we would all head down to Cape Town and stay with Tom and Cindy. We had met Tom when we were in Swaziland and since then, Gina had wanted us to go and spend some time with him and gain what we could from what the Lord was doing in his life.
So onto the train we went for our long 30 hour trip to Gordon’s Bay (read Elizabeth’s blog on this experience. It was quite the trip!). Tom picked us up from the train station and we all went back to his house. Our team stayed there for the two weeks and really enjoyed it. Cape Town is a beautiful place and I really loved being by the ocean. I feel like I think better when I can hear the ocean beside me.
Most of our time there was spent just praying and listening to the Lord. That is really what Tom wanted us to gain from the time we spent with him. How can one know the Lord’s will and what He is doing if we do not take time to spend with Him? A relationship with God is like any other relationship; it takes time spent, talking, listening, and learning. Taking this time is the only way that we will grow closer to God and really be in tune with Him.
I must say that this was a really difficult experience for me. I am really not good at sitting and just being. I like to be moving and doing something. Long walks became a way for me to get this out. While I did not spend as much time as some just sitting with the Lord, I feel like He really worked on my heart. This time in Cape Town was the most difficult for me so far on the race. I was really homesick most of the time, community living was frustrating at points, and the sitting still felt like it was killing me! However, the Lord really just ministered to me about giving everything to Him, my heart, my mind, everything.
It is a struggle to do this at times because it requires complete trust and faith. My heart’s desire is to truly give all of myself to the Lord and live a life that is pleasing and glorifying to Him, but there always seems to be a little fear that creeps in with that. I begin to fear what that will really mean for me. Will I have to loose everything and everyone that I love? Will God ask more of me than I am willing to give? Those thoughts are not from the Lord though and fear is not of God. He is showing me this everyday and helping me walk the road He has called me to.
Our God is such an awesome God. While my time in Cape Town was really hard, I feel like the Lord really used it to show me places in my heart that I need to give to Him. Places that are dark and that need the light of Christ, those things that are not of Him, like fear. So my prayer is that God will continue to work those things out. That He will remove those dark places and fills them with more of His spirit, stirring my trust and faith in Him.
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
Hebrews 12:1
