Just the other night my church held a women’s night. At this women’s night the speaker’s talk was on vulnerability and how as a society it’s heavily looked down upon. We are expected to keep everything in to handle every hard thing that comes our way without any help. To ever admit we need help to anyone would be admitting we are “weak” to others. For the longest time I had a hard time being vulnerable with others. I fed into the lie that I am “weak” and not good enough but I’ve learned that is completely the opposite of what God thinks of us. He gives us community so we can be vulnerable with one another. We start playing the comparison game when we can’t be open with others. We think that someone has it all together so we must have it all together as well, but the likelihood of that person having it all together is none. Life is hard but you would be surprised how many other people are going through the same thing as you or have gone through the same thing.
I think pride begins to creep in all of us at some point in our lives. For a while it was hard for me to admit that I needed God. When something hard came my way I always went straight to God, blaming him for what has happened. I thought that the moment we decide to give our lives over to him he prevents bad things from happening to us, but that concept of God doesn’t even come close to why he wants to come into relationship with us. I really can’t explain why God puts us through certain things or lets things happen, but I always get through it drawing even closer to him. In Romans it says, “We boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” I couldn’t agree more with this verse. The moment I began believing God is in control and has my back every challenge that comes my way I’ve had more peace about. I’m not saying that challenges for me are easy to face, but knowing that we have a God of hope it makes it easier to believe that the challenge I’m facing at the moment will come out good and I will “glory in my suffering.”
God works in crazy ways and he’s given me this heart for human trafficking, yet this passion stemmed from my own fear. Senior year I developed this horrible and irrational fear of being trafficked myself. I watched a movie about a girl being captured and I don’t know why but the thought had just latched onto me. Sometimes when I’d leave my friend’s place at night I would have them drive behind me and follow me home. It was getting so bad that I was imagining dark images in the streets and I just always felt like someone was following me. When I would get home and pull into my driveway I would plan out my escape to the front door. I would sprint to my front door, jiggle the keys for a minute and be shaking just to get in the door. This fear even prevented me with job interviews. I began thinking the interviews were a set up and I would just get trafficked. I know this all probably sounds extremely irrational but it was so real to me, and believe me I would’ve loved not to have this fear but I just couldn’t shake it no matter how much I tried. I prayed a lot that it would go away but God was showing me that I needed to be vulnerable with someone and be healed through sharing my story with someone else.
My parents suggested that I go to a Christian therapist and at first I was terrified. I didn’t want to have to admit to people that I needed help, let alone from a therapist. I was just extremely embarrassed, but my parents already made an appointment so I had to go. I ended up loving it. God had healed me from this with the help of a fellow Christian and being vulnerable with her. Now God has taken my biggest fear and has made it my number one passion. He’s shown me that by being vulnerable with others and sharing our stories with them we have the opportunity to unlock someone’s else’s heart. That’s only part of my story of how I’ve come to Jesus, and it’s still a little nerve racking sharing it with everyone but it’s so worth it. I’m now excited to share with others how God has changed my life. As people we just want to be loved and accepted and will do anything to achieve that. If I can be open with others about my struggles then more will be willing to be open about their’s and let Jesus flood their lives with grace.
We are letting the enemy win when we don’t share our stories with one another. Many of us go through the same things and we need people to know that it’s okay to be open and go to the places we don’t want to. God has shown me that there is so much glory in the dark places that we aren’t willing to go to. If we begin to think that we aren’t good enough because of our pasts then we aren’t believing that God is the way, the truth and the life, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15: 5. With that being said I challenge you to be vulnerable with one another and see the wonderful truth God has in your story.
