Wow, my first World Race blog post! A year ago, I never would have guessed that this is what I would be doing. Life is funny in that way… A relationship with Jesus is funny in that way.
As some of you may know, I have been accepted to the World Race, and will be leaving in August of 2016. I will be joining a group of young adults in traveling to 11 different countries over the course of 11 months. Throughout this time we will be doing various forms of ministry- from planting churches in Africa to praying for prostitutes and sex trafficked women in Thailand. In addition to the ministry, I will be getting my butt kicked through an intense learning curve in my idea of who God is, and what His idea of community is. And I’m STOKED about it.
It probably sounds great and adventurous, as I know it will be. But I don’t want this entire journey to be chronicled by Instagram and Facebook posts, because those outlets have a way of making everything seem flawless and unrealistic. This is my space to reveal the raw, the real, the ugly, and the beautiful that comes with being Brooke and laying my expectations and desires at Jesus’ feet.
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I have been living in Grand Junction, Colorado for the last year and some months. It has been the greatest year and some months of my LIFE. I’ve learned so much, met so many, and grown in numerous ways.
But you know what my biggest fear has been the entire time?
Moving home. back to Peoria, Illinois.
It’s an irrational fear. No one can force me to move back, and if I were to move back, it would be because I made the decision to. But honestly, why would I ever?
Awhile back, I was telling my friend Joy about this fear of mine.. and her response was “Brooke, Jesus know’s the desires of your heart, and He wants to give you those things.” my immediate thought was “but what if He gives me NEW desires?” I don’t want new desires. I’m happy. I’m surrounded by the most beautiful land and the most darling of people. I get to do life with the kindest most loving guy in the world, and the sweetest, most cuddly pup. I have an adorable house, with the DOPEST of roommates. I love them. I love all of this. I don’t need new desires, and I sure as heck don’t want ’em.
So here I am, settled into my awesome life out here in the Grand Valley.
…And I’m moving home.
I’m leaving everything I love and want right NOW in life, to invest in the future. To invest wholly and completely in these next two years of embarking on this crazy adventure to serve God and His people. I’m leaving to be with family, to repair broken friendships, to be near my support, and to lean fully into Jesus as I prepare for this race.
There are so many blessings that await at home, but my heart is still broken over the friends and family that I have come to know and love over this past year.
It’s a funny kind of broken heart. It isn’t the kind that says “I hate you, you hurt me, I hope I never see you again.” It’s the kind that still loves so deeply and longs to stay, but can’t. It’s the kind that is saying “see you later!”, but is unsure of when “later” will come. But it is also the broken heart that will, in return, be mended to hold more, love more, and pour out more.. and this is the promise from Him that I am holding on to.
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I am so grateful to be able to say that I have already been blessed with a job when I get back to Illinois, and a home to live in with some dear friends (more like family! Thank you Rogy’s ♥ ). It is such a bittersweet feeling to be leaving this place. I am a cocktail of excited, anxious, and sad- but I am looking forward to rediscovering new and old friendships, and new and old places. Please keep me in your prayers as I travel and adjust to this massive change!
P.s. Don’t forget to subscribe to this blog! (You can do so in the upper left corner of this page) This way, you will receive emails every time I post while in preparation, and on my trip!
