We’ve known since Zimbabwe this was coming. It’s been on the tips of everyone’s tongues and the backs of our minds. Not really something to dwell upon but still there.
Team changes.
It was confirmed just before debrief a week ago.
“Okay this is coming. I’m gonna be okay. Wherever God puts me is good.”
“Oh no, this is happening. What the heck, I finally, truly love and trust my team and have gotten to deep points with each person! No, no, no!”
*deep breath* “It’s gonna be okay God has taught me to trust Him, and I am going to walk in that. End of discussion.”
Those were my thoughts the final days leading up to debrief, and then we got here, and I almost forgot to think about it, until team changes actually happen.
They announced the team leaders. Only Rachel, my leader, felt led to remain in that position. “Okay, this could be a good sign.”
One by one one the leaders read their the names of their team. First team. Second team- Rachel read, “Jesse, Katia, Tom, Kay, Francis, Holly, and Ben” The room froze for a second as I comprehended what was just said. My team had stayed the same…except for- me. I tried to hold it together as tears fill my eyes and sobs threatened to escape. The rest of the teams were read off, but none of it actually made sense. The room began moving around me as I sat frozen to my seat tears and mascara running down my face.
One of my coaches, Jeff, came over to me and put his arm around my shoulders as the sobs began coming a little more freely. He told me it was okay to grieve, shared some thoughts on the change, and encouraged me. Bit by bit my team made their way over with their own tears, hugs, and encouragement.
It’s been several hours now, and I am still processing. I know God is good and He is going to do good things with my new team (which I will introduce later). It is a hard change though. There are some fears, but I know God is going to turn those into joys and victories. As I’ve been told, there will be redemption in this new team in several ways. There is going to be beauty, and there is going to be love. It’s okay to mourn my last team. It’s okay to shed some tears. It is not okay to stay there, though.
To The Fellowship:
Thank you for all the fun. Thank you for the challenges. Thank you for teaching me to trust. Thank you for loving well. Thank you for taking me outside my comfort zone. And most of all thank you for helping me go deeper with Jesus. You will always be my family! Oh, and thanks for all the episodes of Friends; it was great bonding.
First team picture in Ecuador. Last team picture in Malaysia.
To my new team:
Let’s trust the Light of God to lead us and take Him to the world!
