I was just listening to the BarlowGirl song Let Go.
My first thought was what do I have to let go of? I mean really, I’m on the stinkin’ World Race. I’ve left family, friends, and comfort, in many forms, behind. I’m not going on Baxter’s dates with my best friend to plan her wedding. I’m not helping my Nana with the process of packing up my Umpa’s stuff. I’m not sleeping in my bed or eating the food I want when I want it.
I do not say any of this to complain, because God has already brought me through those things. (There are days when I need to reprocess. It’s just part of it.) My point is, what more is there to let go of? As I continued to listen to the song and ponder I realized there was something I need to let go.
Expectations.
I honestly tried to come into this with no expectations, yet I still have them. I expected the Race to be physically hard most the time and not comfortable yet spiritually filling. I expected to be in the bush, hot, sweaty, and dirty but loving and ministering to people. Right now I am sitting in Zambia in a house with Internet, two ovens, beds, showers, and a tv that works.
What is this?
This is not the World Race I envisioned. I was planning on pressing into the idea of Abandonment, Brokenness, and Dependence this month. I was planning on being uncomfortable and allowing God to show up in mighty ways.
I was planning.
God has something very different in mind for this month. I’m honestly not sure what that is, but now it is time to let go. Of what? Of the expectations that God will only work in certain ways. That missions has to be dirty, hot, and uncomfortable. I’m letting go of what I want and instead choosing to ask and see what God wants. I’m going to “live what I believe”.
Through Christ,
Brooke
Proverbs 31:12
