This weekend. I wish I could say I was broken by this weekend; in a sense I was I guess. It just wasn’t the obvious emotional experience, though, I did ask God for that. I’m glad He doesn’t answer all our prayers with yes; we learn more that way.
It all started Friday night at HeartsAlive. The lesson had been on humility and surrender and in small group the question was asked, “In what ways are you experiencing the joy of surrender?” I was excited to share some of what God has been doing so far as I’ve surrendered this Race to Him. I love how faithful He is!
Saturday morning I attended a ladies’ tea. One lady shared her testimony of how God has been Jehovah-Jireh, God my Provider, to her. It was beautiful especially as that has been how He has been revealing Himself to me lately.
The message that morning was on Sweet Surrender. (I start listening even closer when a topic is repeated.)
Surrender is when we give up our own will for God’s. “Nevertheless not as I will but as You will.” Matthew 26:39
Sweet Surrender is desiring His will alone to be done. “…May your will be done.” Matthew 26:42
Last night tied it all together for me. First we had a missionary share, Steve Curry from Bethlehem. One thing that he said really stood out to me. “”We have a message we must share. Not we may or we can, we must!”
Bro. Steve Harney followed him and that moment stopped. He opened with Psalm 94:16-17
Who will rise up for me against the evildoers?
Who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?
Unless the Lord had been my help,
My soul would soon have settled in silence.
And then this video:
Did you catch it? That was the basis of his whole message, and it stopped me in my tracks.
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
That was his whole message. What do we- what do I care about? What brings me to my knees? What breaks my heart?
What about yours?
But that wasn’t the end of it for me. See, obviously my heart is for missions. (at least I hope it’s obvious) I have a burden for the world, but do I care now, here? I’m preparing for ths World Race to take the Light of Jesus around the world. What have I done to take it to my neighbors? What aboutmy family? Those here in front of me now are lost, some of them, and “unless someone like [me] cares a whole awful lot nothing is going to get better, it’s not.”
This is where that Sweet Surrender and Unless collide, because I cannot be that “unless” if I haven’t given God my all in sweet surrender. I’m still working on the sweet surrender to hear the Holy Spirit’s leading. It wil be a daily thing. Elizabeth Elliot said it like this,
One does not surrender a life in an instant. That which is lifelong can only be surrendered in a lifetime.”
In that moment of collision last night when I was praying for that brokenness what I really wanted was the anguish of God. I did not realize it until I was getting ready for bed. I don’t want emotions I want this:
What about you?
Are you willing to surrender- a sweet surrender- and become that “unless”
Because
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
