So let me start by saying that the Lord has done A LOT since I last wrote. The Lord has done so many things in me. For starters, he has broken some major chains. This is just the beginning and sometimes old Diablo still tries to whisper sweet death in my ears to get me not to believe that Christ has indeed destroyed my shackles. I am free from the fear of man. I’ve struggled with that one for a while now. And then there’s his buddies, “acceptance” and the last remaining bits of “comparison”. I feel so free to be exactly who the Lord created me to be. I don’t feel the need to be someone else or try and fit in whatever box that someone fashioned for me. At one point in my life I learned these lessons but the Lord decided I needed to learn them in a deeper more intimate way. Like I said before, I definitely don’t have it down packed but I feel that there is a deep realization for me.
So, let me recap. We’re in Cambodia now for Manistry month. That’s when the girls and guys are split between all girl and all guy teams. Normally I would have looked at this with dread but I am more than happy to be on an all-girl team. The lumps in my throat that would have clogged my windpipes are nowhere to be found. I’m excited about growth and for our month. (more to come later)
So last month, as you may have read, wasn’t a good month for me. I dealt with some major demons. Spiritual “warfare” is an understatement, lol. I messed up so many times, didn’t respond the way I knew to, and outright gave up. I allowed my circumstance to dictate my joy, reactions, and my view of the Sovereignness (yeah I think I made that up) of God. This month has been a breath of fresh air, once again, for me. I have a new team made up of the three ladies from my last team and four new ones. I received double blessings when I found out that two of my prayer partners were also placed on my team. And if Daddy wasn’t good enough, He also placed another team with us who has been so great to get to know and has one of my dear sisters who is walking me through an understanding of my Spiritual gifts. Aaaand, if He wasn’t bomb already, we are on an island with an amazing host, with an incredible ministry, 5 mins from the beach nestled between beautiful mountains and palm trees. WHAT??!!! Yeah, mind blown!! A lot of my prayers have been answered this month and I feel like the calm/peace after the storm.
Baptism: Yesterday, I went to the beach with my little sis Sophia. We were both complete chickens and afraid to go into the water. Another teammate, Shanda, was at the resort not too far away and even though she stands at 4’10, she is a 7ft beast when it comes to the ocean. She came down and grabbed our 6ft hands and kindly with gentleness, took us to the water. While we were chatting and screaming at incoming waves, I felt such a peace. The sun was setting, nestled in the corner of the mountains and I felt as if there was this wave of calm. I’ve always wanted to be baptized on the race bc I felt at 8 I didn’t have enough of an appreciation of what was going on. I felt this was the moment. So in spur of the moment, and in true Brooke fashion, I asked Shanda if she would baptize me. She grinned from ear to ear and agreed. Sophia went and got her camera and the rest is history. When I came out of the water, I felt like so many weights/ropes/hindrances had loosened themselves and floated out to sea. I felt so much joy and I wanted to cry. We ate dinner later that night and I couldn’t stop beaming. The Lord, He is good.
In an effort not to make this blog super long, I’ve had to shorten some things. That and I can talk forever, lol. But the overall theme is freedom. I am determined to keep the lessons learned and some that will have to be repeated, (lol) on the forefront of my mind, I am determined to give this month my absolute best and I am determined to often look where the rust is laced around my ankles. It will serve as a constant reminder of a place I’ve once been and will never return. Slavery’s not a good color on me J
