It's about that time to write again. I'm not sure if anyone reads these things but jic 🙂
So for an update: I started a new job and it's going ok. I know it's only for a season. God's given me favor so far and I'm grateful. A friend of mine died in a car crash a few days ago. This fact along with some other personal setbacks sent me spiraling into a mini slump. I'm out of it now but the Lord kept echoing a common theme. He is in control and He has given me joy, it's up to me to choose to walk in that. Wow. Really Daddy (heavenly)? Tough Love indeed.( I needed it) I loved my friend and she has impacted me in ways no one else has. She was full of wisdom, encouragement and accepted me for who I was, flaws and all. She's with Jesus and that my friends, isn't a sad thing!
I can't believe there's roughly 6 weeks until Training Camp. I'm super excited about it. I keep hearing about "wars and rumors of wars" (squad), funny foods to eat, sleeping on a bus, and getting your stuff taken for 24 hrs! I'm game, bring it!! jk AIM. But what I really can't wait for is the bonding of our Squad. There are some ladies I've already started that process with but I can't wait to see what our entire squad will be like. I was talking to a squadie the other day about the uniqueness of our squad. We've seem to really bond and it seems as if we're seriously pursuing God's will for this race. It's amazing to see everyone utilizing their gifting already. You can tell the administrators, the creatives, the encouragers, the compassionate ones, the prayer warriors, etc. I have a feeling that I won't express as of yet but the Lord is speaking about this squad and I am so excited. I think our race will be a unique one. There are a few racers that share my sentiment that God is up to something.
Fundraising is going ok. I'm moving along at a graceful pace LOL. Not at all what I planned. I planned it to be moving at the rate of an off schedule semi!! (If you're in TX you know about the big rigs. They will run you off the road if their late and you are in the way!!) But the Lord continues to teach me patience. It seems like I'll never get done with this whole "teaching you patience" thing. Be careful what you pray for. I prayed for patience 7 yrs ago and I'm still in the lesson, ha. I have another fundraiser on the 20th. That's a story in and of itself. Long story short, I was supposed to go to a wedding on April 20th, couldn't, Applebee’s only had that date before my next deadline. Ok Daddy, work it out. Other than that, I've tried selling T-shirts, baked goods and a change drive but nothing seems to be catching. Maybe this is another patience thing. In my flesh, it’s kind of hard not to look at other's efforts and not get downtrodden about it. They seem to be flourishing and I'm sputting along. But each race is different than the next and not to be compared.
One of the best things that have come from this time is my quiet time with Daddy. I've had to press hard into Him for strength and endurance. I must say that I love this place. At first it was scary to venture back to this place but now I wouldn't have it any other way. What I've longed for for the last 3 yrs is happening once again. Heartbreak caused a huge rift in our relationship. (Yes, God can break your heart but that's another blog) Either way, I walked away and He has been beckoning me back to intimacy with Him ever since. I finally decided to let Him back in and it's a soupy place of complete trust, loss of self, surrender, assuredness in His plan, healing, compassion, affirmation of my identity in Him, and instruction. I hope that made sense. It's the closest I could get to describing what this place is. Well, even if you didn't get it, this place is…good. I feel like I'm getting back to the place I once was and I don't want to loose this again.
Ok enough with my ramblings. To best describe what this time has been for me, listen to this song and ingest the words….then you'll get it 🙂
