…..These are a few of my favorite things, lol. Malbec, great food in quaint places, daydreaming, poetry, sunrises and sun sets, belly laughter, and romantic silences are a few of my other faves.
I bring this up bc if you've read my last blog, you'd know that I've been going through a tough time lately. When times are rough I think of my favorite things..(cue The Sound Of Music)
I have a feeling I may have started this race earlier than planned. I've had a couple of days to sit and see with spiritual eyes what's really going on. I think I started World Race the day I stepped on a plane to Milwaukee 2 weeks ago. Things have been less than picture perfect but mostly bc the picture I've been surrounded by has been a mirror our Savior has lovingly and relentlessly set as my spiritual blinders. It's not pretty. I have reacted to where I am in ways that normally I wouldn't. Filth has been bubbling up and consuming my thoughts. Everything from envy, to bitterness, to unforgiveness. "This isn't me!" That's what i would repeat to myself on a daily basis. Well, honey, actually…… It has been hiding in the far reaching corners of the wept up messy regions of my heart. I have a great way with masks and pretending to have it all together and it all fell apart in Wisconsin. I guess I should be happy it happened here in front of 3 strangers rather than the 60+ on my squad, LOL!! Wisconsin has been my training ground, my Pre Race shedding of things that will hold me back if i don't hand them over to a loving Father to destroy. It has been my pre soak.
Back in the day I used to hate the pre soak shower before getting into the pool. I just wanted to jump in and start the fun but In my neighborhood they had these little post that you're supposed to get yourself wet so that the cold pool wouldn't be such a shock. I hated it because the water was always freezing, uncomfortable and delayed my adventure in the pool. But every time I didn't I would feel it. I'd have to delay my adventure anyway bc easing in to an ice cold pool takes time 🙂 I viewed WI as a cold, uncomfortable place that has wasted my time and delayed my adventure. But now I see that I needed the shock. It doesn't feel nice but I know that it necessary. One of the things God has been dealing with me is in the area of bitterness.
How we react to perceived mistreatment says a lot about who we are. The messy bits that get lost in translation can mold themselves right into the heart of bitterness. They fill the holes left where the truth should be. Truth can heal from the outside out, pressing out and evicting bitterness by removing one lie at a time. Before you know it, your heart is whole and the root of bitterness has been strangled by the root of truth, Love. These are the things I have allowed to seep in. These are the things that had me questioning the race, where I was suppose to be, and the plan He has set before me. It's also the reason I've been feeling so helpless lately. But I denounce them in Christ name! Bitterness, Envy, Unforgiveness, and Self Righteousness has no place here!!
So, These are a few things I have learned from the longest, most emotional 2 weeks of Pre-Race so far.
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." Eph 4:31-32
Brooke
