On Sunday night I had the pleasure of going to a service at Hillsong, Century City in Cape Town. We got there a little late and missed part of the worship but I am very glad we went.
The pastor who spoke was visiting from Australia and he was speaking about altars and the significance of them in the Old Testament, and what they should signify for the church of today.
For the Old Testament church, the altar was a place where they would give offerings to ask the Lord for things; as well as a place where they would offer sacrifices.
We no longer build altars or offer animal sacrifices, because we have the Holy Spirit and we can have a direct relationship with God through Jesus. But we are still able to build figurative altars to God with our lives.
In the Old Testament, they would first build an altar out of stones and then offer their sacrifice or offering on top of it. The priests would then remove the ashes so that they didn’t build up.
In our lives the brokenness, struggles, pain and questions as well as the thanksgiving and praises that we offer to God are the stones that build our altar. Once we build an altar God is able to accept our offerings and sacrifices and heal and grow us. But if we refuse to lay the stones, we just end up carrying them around instead of allowing Jesus to take them.
For me, the stones that I have been carrying around for a long time are: grief, betrayal, rejection and loss. Over time these have added up and lead me to a place where I don’t see the point of love. And even that I sometimes question why God created us with the capacity to love.
I look around and I see people who have been deeply wounded through betrayal, rejection and the loss of loved ones. And it breaks my heart and makes me ask “Why?”. In my own life I have experienced betrayal and rejection from broken relationships, and the pain and loss of losing loved ones who have passed away. The two most profound and devastating losses being the death of my granny almost 8 years ago and my friend and mentor almost 7 years ago. Slowly walls built up around my heart and I asked God “What is the point?” What is the point of loving people deeply when it only leads to pain and loss? What is the point of finding someone to share your life with when one way or another you will lose that person?
This has affected my relationships and the level of closeness I allow myself to have with people. But I don’t want to carry these broken stones anymore.
It is time to build an altar.
I know that this won’t change overnight because these are deep hurts and real heart changes that need to happen. But I will bring my stones and lay them down, knowing that God, our good good Father, will make something beautiful from the ashes.
