So, I've been officially accepted on the World Race for almost 3 months now….and I have yet to write a blog. The truth is that I've had so many things going on in my life lately that I have had no clue how to write about it or where to start. I've tried about 10 times, sitting down, writing half a page of how I thought my blog should start out, staring at it and erasing it. I've written a blog before, when I was in India with AIM. Why was this proving to be so hard?
Well, there's a few reasons why I think it's been hard for me to talk to you.
Number one, because I wasen't working through my own issues/feelings. I was ignoring them. Which is a typical thing for me. I don't realize I'm doing it when I'm doing it, and everytime I realize what I'm doing I feel like an idiot. It usually takes a good friend calling me out on it, but this time I figured it out by myself. So, I guess that's an improvement.
Number two, as a result of ignoring my feelings and issues I was also pushing God away a bit and since what I'm writing on here is typically something God tells me to say…I had nothing to say.
Number three, I was freaking out about fundraising. I thought, this is all up to me, it's a lot, it's all on my shoulders. Which is also a typical move of mine…to try and bear it all.To 'power through' and make it happen. Well, news flash Brittney, it's NOT up to you. I need to come to the point where I am giving it all to God, and I have confidence that in turn He will bless my finances, this ministry and my journey.
Basically, I've been trying to do it on my own and I'm humbled by my failed attempt. Moving on. (And not on my own accord.) I'm moving on and leaning on Jesus with a spirit that knows I can't handle it all. I cannot raise all of these funds by myself. I cannot heal my broken heart by myself. Only You, Jesus. Only You. The Lord is certainly putting this scripture in my heart without any question. And I will accept His offer of help.
"I will strengthen you, I will help you."
Isaiah 41:10
