A little over a year ago I was sitting on the floor with all my belongings for a year askew on the ground; trying to figure out how to pack comfortably for 11 months abroad. I was full of emotions; fear, excitement, joy, frustration, and anxiety. I had never taken or participated in an “adventure” before. I had high hopes for 2015. I desired to give back to others, to prove to myself that I could have compassion for other people, and that I could make a difference in the lives of others.
ME! ME! ME!
Why is it that the best year of my life thus far was so full of selfishness? So many times I was wrapped up in how I felt, was I doing enough, what more could I give, are they seeing what I am doing, that I missed some of simple enjoyments of my 11 months abroad. Don’t get me wrong, my world race adventure was amazing! I learned so much about myself, about where I fit in different ministries, how to love other people the way that Jesus would love them, how to meet people right where they are at and so much more. However, a lot it was “me” focused. I know that the Lord had me right where He wanted me and He was using me how He desired.
With that being said, 2016 for me is John 3:30 focused! “He must increase, but I must decrease.” I desire less of me and MORE OF JESUS!!!! My “world race” adventure is over. I can’t go back and change any of the decisions I’ve made or change the race that I have had, but I can choose to make the most of my 2016. I’ve been home for more than a month now. It has been really good most days, super challenging other days; I’ve definitely had my share of ups and downs. I’ve allowed myself to get caught into the stupor of this“American lifestyle.” I found myself worrying about whether or not I look good enough to walk down a runway or if I have the latest gizmo or gadget. In 2016 I don’t want to walk around being afraid of the woman that the Lord has and is still molding me into. I want to feel comfortable in my skin and being the woman that I know that I have been created to be. SO…..
I may decide not to shower for a few days, or wear the same outfit more than 2 days in a row (world race style).
I may randomly scream “HALLELUJAH” in the middle of the grocery store, because I am grateful for goldfish!
I may choose to spend time alone reading and studying God’s word instead of going out and hanging with friends.
I may eat peanut butter and tortillas for breakfast out of habit.
I may stop talking in the middle of a conversation with a group because the “Americans” are way to loud!
I may send you an encouraging letter through the mail instead of texting, emailing, or inboxing you.
I may spend hours telling you how good the Lord has been to me on any given day.
I may share a million and one posts on how I am fundraising for my next season of life.
I may ask you to join me sitting in my hammock.
I may tell you I can not go out to eat, because in America I can not simply live off $5 a day.
I may not use my phone for days at a time to hear from the Lord.
I may end relationships that are not pushing me closer to Christ!
I may travel all across the states to see friends and love ones that I care for most.
Most importantly I MAY WANT TO HAVE DANCE PARTIES LIKE ALL THE TIME!!
I’m choosing today and everyday of 2016 to BEGIN AGAIN and to allow things to get better! Life didn’t stop in 2015, it’s still going! The best is yet to come for me, and for you!
“My daughter, you are not who you once were. You are not even the same person that you were a week ago. You have been created anew and will continue to be refreshed, restored, and rejuvenated by me daily. I want you to being again walking in your gifting and the places that I would have you. Your past does not defy who you are. You have been saved with amazing grace and no one can judge you, except for me. I love you dearly. Begin Again” – God
