Now that training camp has come and gone, I am taking a second shot at this blog. I had previously spent two hours in the airport writing a blog post about the fears and doubts that I was having about attending training camp. I was struggling with a lot of comparisons of myself and the preconceived ideas I had of the people I was about to surrounded by. Of course these preconceived ideas came from the highlight reel of their lives – their social media accounts.
“But he’s been on 6 mission trips, and she’s so spiritual, and he’s spitting scripture like he eats it, and she leads worship AND Sunday school, and he’s been serving God for 20 years, and…” You get the idea; I was playing the comparison game of my life to theirs. I’ll paint you a picture – they were Picasso and I was a 3 year old with crayons. The struggle was real, people. I felt inadequate, unqualified, and doubtful that I would be useful to this dynamic squad I was to be part of. I finished off the blog throwing down a few scriptures about how God uses the people least expected in big unexpected ways. I clicked save – and what do you know – it disappears. All that writing gone in the blink of an eye.
I am now sitting on an airplane on the way home from Atlanta with red Georgia clay on anything and everything I own. I also am having a total revelation in regards to that blog disappearing. I believe that I was being shown that those things I was speaking over myself (although I was trying to put a positive spin on it) were not true. They are not how God, my squad, or others see me. I had great things revealed to me about myself over the week at training camp. I am able. I am qualified. I am adequate. And all I had to do to prove this to them was: nothing. Not a thing. I was given acceptance, love, encouragement, and family for just being me. My squad and squad leaders showered me with immense love and desire to know me in the same way God does to each and every one of us if we let them. I have created relationships over a week that are equivalent to relationships I have poured into for years. I was able to dig in a little deeper to myself, feel the warmth of community, and learn a whole lot about surviving the many scenarios/cultures/uncomfortable situations I will face in the next year all over the span of a week. I guess God must have wanted to really smash those insecurities I had about my abilities and prove that through Him I can do all things because He presented me with the absolutely humbling opportunity of serving my team through a leadership role come launch in January. The parable found in Matthew chapter 20 really spoke to my fears as described above – check it out! I want to share every step of this journey with you (specifically lessons learned at training camp) and will do so more intimately in upcoming posts.
Thank you so much for checking out this blog. I am so blessed by every single supporter that I have had and who have gotten me this far. Not only do I appreciate every cent that you have given, but every word of encouragement, every thought, and every prayer. If you would like to join my support team – please click “support me” below or on the left hand side. I sincerely appreciate support in words, prayers, letters, cards, as much as I do in dollars – so feel free to send those my way too :).
These are the people I will be spending life with over the next year – team Intentional Love! 
