Up until this point I don’t know if I really took the support deadlines seriously…
I knew the money was out there somewhere…I’ve joked about it, I’ve cried about it, I have ignored it and I have tried my best to face it head on.
At this point I really don’t know what to say.
I’ve done the cute email…
I’ve waited and prayed and hoped that the conviction would come from Christ, and I could be the one to sing his praises that he has provided without my ever having to beg!
It is not in doubt of God’s ability that I type this blog, but in humility and in hope, and honestly in desperation.
I still need money, $1,739 to be exact.
I don’t like asking for it, I didn’t like writing my support letters, and I hated making calls to remind people of that one time in which I asked them for money in print form…and now like a telemarketer I was calling their homes at night, asking if they wanted to “partner with me financially”
I know all the excuses. I know the legitimate reasons, but I also know how easy it is to rationalize out of what God is saying or asking of us.
Just stop. Please. For one second and listen.
Pause for one moment.
Listen.
Maybe God is telling you to pray. Perhaps with the New Year and tax returns you have a little lying around and God calls you to give that. Or maybe God is calling you to make some sacrifices. I don’t know what he’s asking of you. All I can ask at this point is that you listen.
Not to me, but to God, to what he is calling you to. Sure, one person could cap the remainder of this account and I could go on my merry way with the race. But this isn’t just about me anymore. This reaches beyond me. My support account, my time on the race, yeah, it’s on the line, but what is more important to me is the ability to hear what God is asking of you.
I had to learn to listen. We all do, it’s easy to just talk, but shut up, listen to what God is saying to you.
You are beautiful, you are loved, you matter to God. He knows YOUR name; he desires to be close to you.
You are worthy.
I love you and I appreciate all that you have all done for me thus far. Thank you for reading…and comments on the edgy blogs are always appreciated 😉
(no one ever comments on the ones where I ask for money)
