The World Race culture –
No, I’m not talking, “you might be on the WR if…” kind of culture, I’m talking about living in community and what that means for me and my future as well as the family I have left behind.
First and foremost, there is absolutely no way that you can live in the close quarters that we live in, in the “intentional community” we are in and not start to feel strains on how you would normally go about living. The stress becomes, should I adapt, hold tightly to my “convictions” or get out? Well let’s just say if you ever want to make friends, or if you have desire to get along with others, your best bet is go get the heck over yourself and learn to prefer and serve others. I think in some ways my mother would be mildly shocked at just how wonderful and servant-like I have become…and no Mom, no one has to ask me to!! Not to say I was lazy and selfish before the race, but I was. Well at least compared to what I am like now, and it’s only been 3 months. But, it is more than just that, my main aim has become to honor others, to serve others, to love others. I am learning to speak LIFE over others and not DEATH. This may all sound like Christian mumbo-jumbo, and at first, I can say that that is what I thought it was. I didn’t realize the power in my words. But to speak encouragement over others is potent stuff. That doesn’t mean that I am lying or depriving myself of expressing my feelings, but I am valuing what my words do to/for others over how I feel after I get something off of my chest.
Another thing that we practice, in doing feedback each night (when we all as a team get together and reflect on our day offering encouragements and challenges to each other) is dealing with our problems and struggles with each other. It is not a time to just list off everything you hate about each other, but it is an opportunity to give each other an opportunity to become a better person, to grow. I think my favorite thing is the 24-hour rule. If you overhear someone complaining about someone else, or if someone comes to you with a problem or situation they really should take directly to the person involved, you give them 24 hours to address the problem themselves, and if they don’t then you go with them to address the situation. This is something that I would love to do at home. Not just among my friends, but among family…why? Because to some extend, people cannot change if you don’t give them the opportunity to. 98% of the time no one knows that what they do is offensive because no one will just buck up and tell them. We are too concerned with being polite and just letting people feel good all the time that we aren’t willing to rock the boat a little bit for a smoother journey. Let’s say that someone said something to me that really hurt my feelings. Well I have a few options, I can forget about it, I can, like Christ, say, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they are doing,” I can go complain about it to anyone who will listen, I can hold a grudge forever, or I can at that moment explain to the person how his/her comment affected me. I’ve seen first hand how easily something so little can escalate. So one day, someone says something snippy, you assume that person hates you, you go tell everyone that this person is terrible, insensitive and hates you…next time one of these supposedly impartial parties interacts with initial someone…they jump to the conclusion that he or she is terrible, insensitive and hateful and their relationship is impacted. Sorry for my ambiguities, but to bring up literal scenarios would be defilement in and of itself. My main aim is to address the fact that this is how we interact in our churches, in our families, and I am calling it out. I am feedbacking life.
I am tired of awkward social and family gatherings of when one person sits on one side of the room and takes it as a personal attack if anyone talks to the person they have been fighting with for years over NOTHING. Christ has called us to forgive 70 times 7!
