So confession, I have been stressing a LOT lately about whether or not I was even going to be able to go on the World Race. The “powers that be” have set up support goals for us that divide the overall goal into more manageable amount. Instead of just aiming for $15,800 and starting at $0, we are supposed to have increasing amounts at certain intervals (such as three months before launch, 6 months into the race…). At the beginning, this was mildly refreshing – just mildly – knowing that I wasn’t going to be overwhelmed with just having to have it all by July 1. But when that first deadline came up and I didn’t have the amount they recommended, well it began the path that I have continued down…calling in to say what I am doing to raise these funds and what I will continue to do/do differently.
It’s not that I don’t enjoy having a support coach, or having someone to talk to about support raising, but to have to be ever aware of these dates and deadlines while I was attempting to focus on finishing up school, enjoying my time with friends and family – well it really just started to irk me. I am supposed to have raised $8500 by now, and I of course started panicking…I may or may not have ended up on the floor at some point proclaiming “I hate my life”…but after talking with my support coach today I was informed that I do in fact already have enough to launch, but on top of that within the last three days I have received $900.
God continues to bless me, but as per usual, I have to realize that I am attempting to do this on my own strength and then die to myself. When I reach the point that I get tired and think I can’t go any further and have to rely on God – well it’s not necessarily when he steps in, but it’s when I realize he’s been there all along. It’s the proverbial “Footprints” illustration, where the man walking on the beach sees only one set of footprints during his excruciatingly hard times (as opposed to the two sets of footprints during the easy times) and he asks God why? And the answer comes, because I was carrying you.
Gets me every time…why? Well because I am an independent woman, and I don’t need help. FALSE, I am a sinful and broken human in need of God’s redeeming love. Luckily it has already been given; Christ has already died for my sins. He has already seen where I am going to freak out and stress and mess up, BUT he loves me the same!!
Thank you for your prayers, thank you for your financial support, I continue to need both, but God is growing me through this – who knew – ha, humbling, but powerful. God bless!
