I was cheating.
Saying “Father I love you.”
But through my peripheral vision looking for any other man to satisfy my needs.
To satisfy my desire to be pursued.
My longing to be loved.
I would give them peices of my heart.
Each time thinking “This one will care for it.”
Each time being dissappointed.
I cried out to Him!
He stayed silent.
Wanting desperately to be satisfied in Him alone.
But doubting that I really could.
So I continued to cheat.
Turning to others’ love.
Running farther away from His.
Each time feeling more defeated than before.
Each time hearing Satan’s voice.
Growing louder and louder.
Telling me I will NEVER be longed for.
Telling me I will ALWAYS find a way to mess it up.
Telling me I will ALWAYS lose the battle in the face of temptation.
Telling me no man will EVER find me good enough.
But then……
