My life’s like a dandelion…
Perfect one day…
But delicate as a dandelion…
One puff blows it all away….
If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, I don’t want to ruin it for you so you should stop reading this now…
Long story short, the girl goes to Tarabithia by herself one day, ends up falling, and dying. It starts out as this little happy story about two friends but then you are left to deal with Jesse’s (The boy’s) thoughts and feelings on death and how time changes things. The story is personal to me because for one I was in the show. I have so many good memories from that show as a kid. (Even though I played the bully in it) hahaha. But secondly, it helped me get thru one of my friends dying. I had never really experienced death until Cory passed away. It was the first life changing experience that I remember going thru as a teen. For the first time in my life things completely messed up and I couldn’t do anything about it. My perfect life had started to mess up as soon as that happened. Little did I know, it was only the beginning to a really long few years.
I remember being so angry at God. How could he take away someone like Cory? She was gorgeous, talented, and had a full and amazing life ahead of her. We had talked about college scholarships litterally 3 days before she died. Cory and 2 of her other friends had just gone to get a drink at a gas station between softball games. It was going to be a long day… They had just won their first game and they were getting ready for their second game… They got into the car, Cory said goodbye to her parents for the last time, and the left. After going to the gas station they went joy riding in the sub devision down the street where there are all of these hills. They were going 70 mph when they hit a hill, went air born, and hit a tree. Cory wasn’t buckled and she didn’t survive.
For years, I tried to blame others on the tragedy. It has completely changed how I feel about driving. (I freak out over the smallest things) and I AM HUGE about buckling up. Before all of this, I used to get my big brother in trouble for not buckling up. I was scream out MAMMA, DADDY…. MICHAEL’S NOT BUCKLED!!! He still makes fun of me to this day… lol
After Cory died, my dad lost his job and was charged and became a convicted fellon. It was all politics and I was so angry at the governement and politics in general. It makes me sick still thinking about it. My family lost everything. I remember going to sleep cold night after night. It was NOT a fun time in my life. WE LOST EVERYTHING… At the time, it just fueled my anger at God. First Cory, and now this? What kind of God would allow that to happen to a normal and average family that had always tried to serve him?!?!
As the years have gone by, my family has lost touch with those people. Fact is we have all changed… And although we might not still have eachother in our lives now, I still have those memories.
Since that time, I have had so many people come in and out of my life. It’s rediculous. But I have grown to understand and have peace with the fact that people come (Become family) and then one day they’re gone. A few years ago, I dubbed those people transition angels. It’s those people that are put into your life to teach you something and then one day, they are just gone. No goodbye, no going away party… they’re just gone. And so life goes on… Onto the next chapter and so forth.
Last Sunday, I went to the church I grew up in to set up a table for the world race. It was mind blowing. I remember that place as a kid and it was MASSIVE. It’s still pretty big, but not as I used to imagine it. Since I have been gone, they have added more services so when 2 were going on, my dad and I decided to slip into the sanctuary and listen to the serman. It was on missions which was kind of cool but I couldn’t really pay attention because I was having so many flashbacks. I had sat in those pews for years of my life, sleeping, rubbing my hands over the gorgeous red velvet seat coushins, rubbing my hands over the freshly waxed wood, and just being relaxed and calmed by the smell, a preachers voice, and my dad giving me a foot message. Hahaa… While we were sitting there I couldn’t help but remember all of that stuff. I leaned against the pew in front of me and my dad started rubbing my back. I litterally almost broke down into tears. It was like I was 6 years old again… And all that “Stuff’ that had happened in the past few years was simply the past. None of it matters now… Or then again does all of it matter? Every tear I have ever cried has led me to the race. The world race has made me grow up. It has made me realize what’s important. And just given me hope to be filled again like I used to be before my life crashed.
It has also made me come to peace that people come and go in and out of your life but it is okay. Because the time you got to spend with them is all that matters. I don’t know your story if you are randomly reading my blog… But I know mine and I am willing to believe you have had people come in and out of your life like I have. The main thing is to keep on moving… Take pictures… And never forget.
At the end of the song that Jesse sings about his friend he says these words….
“Before I was nothing. But you made me King. You made me hear music I had never heard and see worlds I never new existed!”
