A good friend of mine got married this past Saturday, and I had the honor of standing next to her as she made her vows. The weekend was kinda long, and it ended with me sitting in a Greyhound station waiting for a 3AM bus departure.
As I waited, one of the guys working noticed that I had been there for several hours, so he started a casual conversation. Some how we ended up talking about how I view death. (Totally normal bus station small talk.) I told him that I don’t fear death, and he was so unbelievably confused. I told him that I wanted to spend my time embracing life to the fullest and death was nothing to be feared. He’s really outdone at this point, so he flags down someone else working to tell him how amazing it is that a 22 year old has such a good outlook on life.
Work called them away, and I was left with this overwhelmingly satisfied feeling. That’s the first time I’ve ever expressed how I feel about death to a complete stranger. Maybe even anyone at all.
In that moment, I could feel Philippians 1:21 coursing through my veins.
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Man. I remember the days when I wanted so badly for that to be true. I wanted that to be my heartbeat. I wanted to be able to stand firmly in that.
The crazy thing? I don’t even remember when this happened! I can’t point to one moment where I was just cool with dying. Like “Yea, cool. I could die today and be okay with that”. Like what?! That’s just not a thing most people say.
I love that God in constantly changing me even when I don’t realize it. I love being able to look back at my life and see where I was and actually notice a difference. That’s the beauty of the life changing Gospel. The more I learn about God, the more I love God, and the more I love God, the more He changes me.
Preparing for the World Race is the most I’ve ever been stretched, and I can’t wait to look back a few years from now and see the changes God is making. My mind is already blown just thinking about the possibilities, and we all know what God does with our expectations. Ha. He shows up and shows out.
Peace & Love,
Brittany Le’Ann
