When I signed up for the World Race, I knew that one of the big things that I would learn was how to live in community. I assumed that this meant living with people and being nice to them. Potentially making some friends that I would keep beyond the race, but that wasn’t a big priority to me. I was just excited to go to different countries and learn about cultures, serve people well, and experience the world. I had no idea that the world race was so much more.
Back at training camp when we got our team assignments, I made it pretty clear that I had many friends at home and an awesome support group waiting for me and cheering me on. I didn’t really NEED any more friends. I even was bold enough to say that to them many times.
We walked into month one with personal goals that we thought we might like to accomplish and with different mind-sets of what we wanted for the team. We even sat down one of our first nights in Guatemala and shared them with each other. Shortly thereafter, we all kind of went our own ways and did our own thing. We worked together while we were at ministry, but went our separate ways when we were done. Each of us had close friends in the group but none of us really took time to get to know anyone outside of that. We thought it was working fine.
Once we went to debrief, a month’s worth of emotions came pouring out. Little did we know, we were hurting each other in ways we never knew. We were rubbing up against past hurts that we didn’t know existed. We were even passive aggressively hurting each other but not taking responsibility for it. We all came to realize that we wasted a month of our race just ignoring each other.
The seven of us sat down, arms folded, guarding our own emotions and pains, to talk about our team. Luckily, we had a squad leader with us who loves us and really wants the best for us. We shared our feelings, we said how people hurt us, and we let ourselves be vulnerable. For the first time, our team genuinely listened to each other. We hurt for each other. We even ended the conversation laughing between the tears. I think we all were finally buying into this crazy thing called the World Race and we were really putting our words into action.
It was not pretty or graceful or fun. I was in fact extremely humbling to talk to each other and get to know our team on a different level, but we are stronger now because of it.
I have promised my team that I will no longer say that I don’t need them, because I do. My friends and family are amazing beyond words, but they are not here with me. They are at home cheering me on and that is great. I have also promised them to be honest with my feelings. Instead of being sarcastic or mean when someone hurts my feeling, I am going to be honest and tell them how I feel. I am no longer going to bury my feelings until I blow up on my teammates. I am happy to say that I am a part of Team Relentless Hope! Here goes month three!!!!
