Almost a year ago to the date I finished up my World Race training camp. I spent a week in a tent in the middle of nowhere Georgia, crying myself to sleep, waiting for something just bad enough to happen that I could excuse myself, go home and continue with the plans I had for my life.
But I serve a God who is much bigger than me or any plans I have.
I came to training camp excited to travel the world, but really wishing something would come up and the Lord would amend the plans He had for my life. The World Race wasn’t so appealing. I had the job, the degree and the man; all that was left was to get married and get my MRS.
But it was that week, in my tent in the middle of Georgia, that the Lord totally wrecked me. He grabbed ahold of my heart and filled me with strength. He made it clear that He was going to take me on a year of romance for me and Him ALONE; no room for a boyfriend in my back pocket. So with strength and resolve I will never understand, I boarded a plane homebound. I landed in Idaho and called up the man I had given everything to, the man who I thought held my future.
I trembled and cried my eyes out as I cut the strings that held us together. Every ounce of my identity was wrapped up in, and as I said goodbye to him, I crumbled.
I was nothing.
Fast forward six weeks.
I wake up in my tent in Guatemala. Somehow the Lord closed every back door and I was too prideful to simply back out of going on the Race when all the supplies, encouragement and funding had come in.
Heartbroken and exhausted I open my eyes to another day. An incredible woman and (now) treasured leader asked to have a slumber party with me. Had she not, I might have packed up my tent and tried hitch hiking my way back to the states. As soon as we awake, she rolls over asks me who I am.
So lying in my tent I started declaring things I had known my whole life but never believed.
I am beautiful.
I am loved.
I am chosen.
I am precious.
I am pure.
I am redeemed.
I am made new.
I declared those things day in and day out until my heart began softening and, by the grace of God, I began believing them.
Over the following eleven months, I fell in love with my Savior.
I started believing God and taking Him at His word.
Just a few days ago, that man I was planning on marrying, married another woman. And what did I do? I prayed. I prayed for continued healing of my heart, for them to faithfully serve the Lord in their marriage and just thanked Jesus that He had better plans for my life than I had myself.
I am FREE.
That first month back in Guatemala, my team memorized Galatians 5:1. I had no idea how important that verse would be or that it would truly become the theme of my race.
“It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. “
I write this blog with explicit detail, knowing anyone could read it. It humbles me and makes me want to throw up. I lay down my pride and would take a beating if only one person could experience the same freedom that I have. I am reminded of Philippians 1:20-21,
“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
Oh, how I PRAY that people can experience the freedom I have!
It is for freaking freedom that Jesus died on the cross for you!
He paid the price for everything you have ever done.
He loves you with an EVERLASTING love.
He delights in you.
He has chosen you.
You are beautiful.
You are loved.
You are chosen.
You are precious.
You are pure.
You are redeemed.
You are made new.
There is nothing that you have done that is too bad.
You are never too far gone.
It is never too late to go running back into the arms of the Savior.
Our God is someone who doesn’t want us to be chained. He wants to fill us with His joy so that we could dance around in freedom all our days. He is a good Father who wants good gifts for His children.
He has great plans for your life and truly only wants the best for you.
Although I had earthly excitement about the travel aspect of the World Race, I was barely convinced to go and had anything come up, I would have jumped ship.
But all praise to Jesus nothing came up.
The World Race changed my life.
The Lord used these 11 months to transform me into a new woman.
My identity is so firmly rooted in Christ.
When faced with a tough decision or startling news. I pray.
When put in situations that would seem hurtful, I come out unharmed.
I hear from the Lord and I obey.
I believe that God is who He says He is and I am who He says I am.
I believe that He can do what He says He can do and that I can do all things through Him.
So when you feel Him tugging on your heart, go for it. I am begging you. It’s probably going to hurt and you might come out with a few war wounds, but there is nothing He can’t heal!
Be free!
