A story of just how broken this world is…and the hope that comes with it.
When I first signed up for the race, I knew that I would see brokeness. I knew that I would see a lot of injustice, poverty, and sickness. I also bought into the lie that I could prepare myself for what I was going to see. A few days ago we had the opportunity to go to the Hospital right across the street and take a tour of the facilities. Jessica, our contact and former World Racer, walked us down there and showed us around. As soon as you walk into the hospital, you can tell that it's going to be a rough tour. For those momma's I have that are reading this, imagine the hospitals you knew as a child…perhaps even the one you were born in. By now, all the equipment used in American Hospitals during your childhood, are outdated, cast aside, and maybe even unsafe at this point. When I walked into that Hospital, I felt like I was stepping back in time. The paint was peeling…and most likely lead based. The tile had probably never been redone, and the furniture had definitely been there for at least 20 years. As soon as I walked in my heart felt heavy. I physically felt ill as I looked at the conditions of this small hospital that serves 1 million people AVERAGE. 1 Million people and 120 hospital beds.
Jessica walks us down the hallway. As we pass we see the walls scattered and plastered with posters about breast feeding…how to and tips for moms. I didn't quite understand the emphasis, but figured it was just a campaign or something they were trying to push for the month of July. Jessica walked us passed the Surgical area. Quiché has 6 surgical rooms. Only 3 are operational. For a hospital that serves 1 million AVERAGE. The hospital also doesn't have a surgeon on staff. They have volunteers come down and perform surgeries whenever they can…for example: there was a group here last week who in ONE week performed 70 surgeries. Thank the Lord for people like that. We kept moving, passing poster after poster about breastfeeding. The advantages of it, the pictures of how to…
We rounded the corner to the maternity ward. First thing I noticed was the smell. Rancid diapers…that's the only way to explain it. The place was bustling with nurses and doctors…from what I could tell, every room was full. We kept walking and walked into a room. First thing I saw was a woman trying to feed an emaciated baby girl. Come to find out she was 5 months old and weighed maybe 6lbs. She was screaming…her big, beautiful, brown eyes streaming tears as she screamed and screamed. She didn't know how to eat. Her eating was a foreign concept for her. A lump grew in my throat. We walked passed the precious baby and saw a little boy laying on the hospital bed in a leopard print onesie. He looked 8 months old from a distance…very skinny. Maybe 12-15lbs. When I got closer I almost retched on the spot. This "8 month old" had a full set of teeth. Jessica begins to explain that this little boy's name was Macario…and that he was 3 years old. She went on to say that he was abandoned by his parents and that he has siblings that have died from neglect before him. I immediately gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. I looked back down at this precious little boy and instantly knew he had my heart wrapped around his tiny fingers. I reached out to him…gently ran my fingers along his insanely tiny legs…I cooed and smiled at him with tears in my eyes. I told him how precious he was… how loved. I prayed every second that I could make this little boy smile…that I could be used to make this little boy happy…even if just for a second. I played with his fingers and looked at him right in the eyes. He looked at me, confused…concerned at first…then looked at my hand in his. Slowly, the edges of his mouth began to curl up into a smile. Macario had probably never brushed his teeth judging by the decay…but I kid you not when I tell you that it was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. His face was sunken, his eyes and mouth looked unnaturally large on his face. His eyes sparkled and I began to giggle with him and tickle his feet…treasuring these precious seconds I had with the little angel.
As soon as it started…it ended. I walked back and felt the tears pushing past the gates and walls I built to be strong for that little fighter. I couldn't hold back the sob as I thought about the fact that that might be the only time he smiles that day…that week. I learned that Macario's life is in the hands of the Guatemalan Government. He will stay there laying in that bed…not learning…playing…giggling like a normal 3 year old should, until the Government chooses which orphanage to put him in. If he isn't adopted…he will most likely stay there until he is of age and then be kicked out. I want more than anything to scoop him up in my arms and tell him that he is coming home with me. Even with no job, no income right now for me, I know his life would be better than if he were to be stuck in an orphanage where he doesn't learn to speak or even get out of bed. I prayed that night that we would have the opportunity to see Macario again. And the Lord answered. The next day my team learned that we would be doing ministry at the hospital; maintenance and painting…as well as rotate and see Macario and the other malnourished babies.
I rejoice today knowing that at least once more this month I can make Macario smile. I haven't known him but for that 2 minutes I had with him…but I can tell you today that I love that little boy. I love his courage. I love that he is a fighter and heard how the doctors said that they didn't think he'd make it weeks ago when he was brought in, and proved them all wrong. I love his sparkling eyes…and his beautiful smile. I can't wait to see him again. I can tell him that he is not an orphan…and that he has a Heavenly Father who adores him more than words can say. That his Heavenly Daddy cries when he see's how Macario's life has started. That His heart is broken for his son. I want to look him in the eyes, and even if he doesn't understand me, show him the love of the Daddy who forever has a hold on Macario's heart. Show him the Love of Jesus…who died for him. Who always has been there, and never will leave him. As will a piece of my heart.
