I've had these…symptoms. Symptoms that were beginning to effect my job, my home life, and my sleeping habits. Symptoms that would wake me up in the middle of the night and not allow me to fall asleep again for hours. It began with stomach pains…well, maybe pain isn't the right word…it felt like massive butterflies. Butterflies that mercilessly attacked my stomach 24/7. Then it turned into racing heart palpetations…thumpthumpthump…I could hear my heart working double overtime in my ear. Then the dreams started…
They all start the same…Jake, my boyfriend, lifts my pack onto my back and hands me my daypack…my knees feel weak and are shaking. Behind him is my family…my mom is crying…letting out quiet sobs. My dad is tearing up…that makes this the 4th time I have ever seen him cry. My sister Melanie is crying too…so is Ethan, my little brother. They all just look at me, memorizing my face. I slowly and silently walk toward them and break down into sobs as I hug them goodbye. I cluch my siblings close to me and tell them how much I love them, and that I will bring them something back from every country. I hug my mom for a solid 5 minutes…and then, my dad. I turn to Jake, who has Emma on a leash next to him. She's panting, smiling up at me, unaware her mommy was about to leave. I fall to my knees and hug her neck sobbing. She doesn't move and lets me cry. She lifts a paw up when I start to pull away…she does that when she wants to be pet more, so I oblige. Jake helps me up. I don't want to look in his eyes, because I know that as soon as I do, panic will hit. I hug him. Press my ear to his chest…desperate to hear the heartbeat I have memorized these past 8.5 months…his heart is racing. He acts so strong for me, but his heart betrays his emotions. I know how he is feeling. I feel worse. I feel as if I am abandoning him…I am scared he will resent me for leaving him…I borderline resent myself. My dream always ends around there and jumps ahead…I go from in his arms to on the plane to launch…literal sobs escape my mouth as I stare out the window and watch home go further and further out of my reach. As the sadness builds, so does the excitement the closer and closer I reach launch.
The other dream I have is me on a plane…I reach to the overhead compartment and grab my day pack and sling it around my shoulders. My heart is beating a million miles a minute. My skin is dark…tanned from the 11 countries I had lived in this past year. The slow exit from the plane makes my impatience sky rocket as I run passed the people who took so long in front of me. I can see the gates of Gerald R. Ford Airport fly past me as I run as fast as I can with a pack full of souvenirs for the kids…I dart in and out of people headed to their flight, tears of joy streaming down my face. I pass security and run down the hallway that leads to the waiting area, round the corner, and see them. I lose my breath and get lightheaded. There they are. All of them. My friends, My Family, Jake, Emma…my legs stop working and I stop, out of breath from emotion and fall to my knees and bury my face in my hands. I cry. I sob. I want to kiss the ground. I'm home! Everyone runs over to me, Emma is crying and licking my face while doing the "Emma Shuffle" out of excitement. Everyone has tears in their eyes as well…and they put their arms around me and hug me there on the ground.
And then I wake up.
After much discussion with some squadmates…who are experiencing the same thing, we have come up with a conclusion. We are infected. Infected with Pre-World Raceitis. It's a debilitating virus that hits anywhere from 6 down to 3 months before Launch.
Pre-World Raceitis hurts in so many ways…Sadness, Anxiety, Weight Gain, Headache, Nausea, Dreams, Butterflies, Heart Palpations, Hysteria, and Mood Swings. Dizziness or fainting may occur when standing. Luckily, PRAYER(350mg) can help. PRAYER(35Omg) is a prescription medication that treats many symptoms of Pre-World Raceitis. Tell your mobilizer right away if your Pre-World Raceitis worsens, or if you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of route change. Not taking the right doseage of PRAYER(350mg) can increase these in young adults. PRAYER(350mg) is approved for anyone. Side Effects include: Hope, peace, a renewed spirit, a full nights sleep, Less makeup to apply after crying it off, and an overwhelming sense of thankfulness. Ask your Doctor about PRAYER(350mg)…Pre-World Raceitis hurts…PRAYER(350mg) can help.
In all seriousness though, prayer has really helped my anxiety about the trip. I have never been so terrified and dreaded something that I was so excited about and SO ready to go on! Talk about the ultimate Bipolar! Thanks to all of my supporters, I have actually hit the first deadline for the race a month early! I am currently sitting at $3514.09 in my World Race Account. That means I can officially go to Training Camp!!! It's getting so real, so fast! Seriously though, I love my supporters so much. To have your faith and your belief in me keeps me going! Thank you all so so much! Now to Checkpoint #3!!!
CURRENT WORLD RACE BALANCE: $3,514.09
Checkpoint #1: $1,000 in WR account by March 1st
Checkpoint #2: $2,500 in WR account by April 1st
DEADLINE #1: $3500 in WR account by May 5th
Checkpoint #3: $5,000 in WR account by June 1st
DEADLINE #2: $6,500 in WR account by June 17th
DEADLINE #3: $11,000 in WR account by October 1st, 2013
DEADLINE #4: $15,500 in WR account by December 1st 2013 – FULLY FUNDED
Thank you all for your help so far!!! We can do it!!!
