Well, here we are once again, another month closer to leaving. I am excited, nervous, anxious and terrified all at the same time.
There is so much that God has been doing in me lately. I love that I really thought the change would begin once I left on this trip and once again, God has shown me His much bigger and better plans of preparation.
I really went through an identity crisis this last month. I had a moment where I felt totally alone, defeated and really down on myself. I felt like I hit a low and that I was useless as a person. Then, God opened my eyes to show me what I, in my small human mind, could not see. Last year at this time I had a serious boyfriend, a house, a steady job, many friends and I was in the best shape of my life. I was feeling pretty high on myself, like I had somehow arrived in life. I didn't feel joy or peace or even any real fulfillment, just that somehow everything I was supposed to have in life, I was close to getting. God, of course, rocked my world and started the process of showing me how little I really had in comparison to what He wants to give me. A PURPOSEFUL LIFE.
10 months ago, He helped me to let go of the guy and the "friends". In the past month or so, He has directed me to let go of the house and the steady job and in the process of change, I let go of the fitness… (I have a purpose for this so stay with me). I was suddenly lost. I felt useless. I didn't understand. Here I am at 22 years old single, jobless, living with my parents and no longer my healthy and active self. Who does that make me? What does that make me?
It was late one night (or very early in the morning) and I had been attempting slumber for going on 3 hours now. I finally resolved to pray. I felt God ask me a question, "Who do you think you are, truly?". I thought about this for a long time. Every answer that flashed across my mind had something to do with work accomplishments or relationship failures. As this stream of thoughts went through my mind, I felt Him speak to my heart again. "Your identity is found in Me." It was then God opened my eyes to see how everything that I felt I had lossed in the past year was once something I found my worth in, something I found my IDENTITY in. Allowing my life to be stripped of all things that once gave me security, was allowing God to show me that only in Him can I truly be found. Its so easy to get wrapped up in the things you want to accomplish and the person you want to be. Only when you truly recognize that you have been created and pre-thought of by God Himself can you realize that only in Him, the only thing that never changes, can you be found.
SOO, I have found my fire once again. God has given me a passion to share about Him with the world. A chance to show others the love He has shown me.
"So, How can I help?", you may ask. Well, I currently have $400 to raise before I reach my first deadline of $3000 by June 18th. My total trip cost is $14,800 and I need your help to get there!
Right now, I have several ways that you can get involved. First is to make a donation to my trip. You will find the "SUPPORT ME" link on the left hand side of this screen. Anything will help. You have the option to make a one time donation or to commit to a monthly donation. Again, absolutely anything helps. Second, my mom has co-authored a devotional that can be purchased and the proceeds will be going to fund my trip. The devotional is called "Life Connected" and is an amazing encouragement to young females about the questions on how to connect with God. This devotional can be purchased for $15 (additional $5 for shipping). Email me at [email protected] if you are interested. Lastly, I will be hosting a dinner/silent auction on Thursday, July 28th for people locally in Tulsa, OK who want to come for a time of family fellowship and food. Those who attend will have the chance to bid on donated items and services from local people/businesses. I currently need donations of services (ex: hair stylists can donate free cuts/colors) or items (ex: unopened household appliances, jewelry) that can be auctioned off during the dinner. All proceeds will go to fund my trip. This is also a great opportunity for local business owners and service providers to receive new customers and clients. If you are able to help me, please email me at [email protected].
I truly appreciate all of you who have taken the time to read my lengthy post. I have been blessed and blown away by God's provision and I am anxious to see what else He has in store.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
Britni Bersin
